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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I didn't see your reply until this morning - my apologies. I ended up feeling really down and heavy and struggling with my thoughts, so, decided that it was best for me to go to bed and try to reset.

I've woken this morning feeling much the same and haven't managed to shake it. I have a bit of soreness from yesterday's procedure and that interrupted my sleep, which probably doesn't help.

I look forward to your check in later today and will post a picture of the diamond dot I started later. Can you remind me, please?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme this is something I need to do today, I'm sorry if it's annoying.

Things I want to do today....

- Take Luna for a walk

- Clean window sills and ceiling fan in the loungeroom

- Have wood delivered

- Start stacking the delivered wood (I'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting, but I need to get the wood stacked and away before my inspection on Thursday)

- Tidy up outside - spray the weeds, pick up dog poo, rake up wood bits from wood chopping.

What does your day look like? Or if you get this later...what was on your list today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay! I am glad you listened to your body here. @NightFury

Feeling down and heavy must be tiring... but remember, it's allowed. 💛

Is there anything you'd like to chat about? I am all ears.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thanks for sharing your day's plans with me! I've been endging to find this page so I can add my day!

So today, I completed:

1) visited some kids

2) the laundry

3) pending admin work

4) took the kids to officeworks - the eldest wanted to buy slime

And now I'm on the forums!

How did you go with accomplishing your goals today @NightFury ?

I have to admit, the dog poo job doesn't sound too thrilling. Did you know that some people made an auto dog poo cleaner? Just like the robo vaccuum? But no... it didn't work as well as it should've. lol

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I haven't had a good day today @AuntGlow @tyme I've been dealing with SH. I've been relying on things in my safety plan - I did some diamond dot, took myself out to a Cafe for coffee and a donut, have spent the evening so far colouring, and tried to reach out to Lifeline, but it was a bit of a wait. So, I'm here, reaching out for a bit of connection, so that I'm not alone...like I feel today.

@AuntGlow here are photos of the diamond dot mandala I've been working on for the past couple of days...

 

And a close up...

It's like paint by numbers, but with little plastic dot things.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme the dog poo pick up isn't thrilling. I can imagine the mess of a robot vacuum pooper scooper.

This morning I...

- cleaned up the yard (picked up the dog poo, swept up the wood chips and the back door step, cleaned the mat on the back doorstep and sprayed the weeds in the driveway)

- Went to the shops to get money to pay for the wood and to buy food for Luna.

- dusted the ceiling fan

- wiped down the window on the woodheater

- cleaned the window ledges.

- got the washing in.

- took Luna for a walk

All before lunch time...after lunch has been a bit of a problem.

The wood isn't being delivered now until the weekend, so there was no wood to stack.

Your day sounds busy. Did the kids find their slime?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well done @NightFury for getting through a bunch of chores. I'm kind of glad the wood didn't arrive because you are supposed to be taking it easy post procedure. However, I hope you have enough wood to keep you warm until it arrives.

I clean the glass on my wood fire every evening because I like watching the flames, so I like it to be completely clear. As to other windows in my house, I have cleaned them before um....can't remember sometime in summer - so you know months (or longer) ago!

These diamond dot things look interesting, I've heard other people here talk about them. Do you just push a plastic thing over a thread on the picture.

Sorry your afternoon wasn't exactly how you hoped. How are you feeling now?

I felt pretty rattled after getting overly anxious last night. I lay in bed a bit late listening to the rain on the roof and procrastianting because I was not looking forward to my afternoon appointment.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I know @Till23 the wood not coming is actually a good thing. I'm not supposed to be lifting...so. I have a little electric heater if I run out, so I'll be fine.

Ummm...how to explain...so it's like a paint by number. The spots for the plastic dots are labelled with a letter of the alphabet that coincides with a certain colour. The pattern is sticky, so when you press them to the page, they stick down.

I'm not feeling fantastic.

Sounds like you had a morning of self-care, of doing what you needed to do to get yourself through. That's been the theme of my day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

So @NightFury is diamond dot on a plastic grid thing like a tapestry where the picture is printed on a grid and you "sew" the thread through the grid in the place that corresponds with thread on the grid.

Yes, I saw you said that you weren't feeling good, do you know what is behind it.

Have you been using your coping strategies - is that what the diamond art was for, or was that just for fun?

I'm feeling a bit lost myself, my psych is going to discharge me, because I'm too complex

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No sewing @Till23 you stick it on. It's like a canvas. You press the dot to the canvas and it sticks.

I don't know what's behind it, really. I've had a lot going on.

I've been using strategies from my safety plan - keeping my hands busy with the diamond dot, and colouring in.

I'm sorry to hear that @Till23 that must be hard for you.

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