FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

981 - 990 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like you have been trying so hard to take care of yourself and connect to your safety plan, despite feeling some pretty big emotions. Good on you, that takes enormous strength.💕 @NightFury

The feeling of being alone is really, really hard. How has chatting to people here tonight been for you?

And wow!! That dot mandala is beautiful. Where will you put it when it's done?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow all night last night, all day today my thoughts have been telling me that I have no one and no one cares. That I'm not important. It's been hard work carrying those thoughts today.

Chatting to people here has been okay. I think it's helping a little, helping me to feel connected in a sense. It's just hard when...when it feels like you have to fight your thoughts.My thoughts are telling me that I have no one, so, I thought trying to connect here would help with that, but connecting is hard at the moment...I don't know if that makes sense.

The dot mandala will probably go in a box somewhere. I live in a rental, so can't put anything up.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The diamond art mandala is beautiful @NightFury ! I still have a lion one sitting on my buffet. It's been there for 2 years lol.

I'm glad you got all those things done before lunch, but I can see that after lunch was harder. Was it because you 'ran out' of things to do? Or was it just difficult after lunch?

Well done for being able to take Luna out and also picking up all that doggy doo!!!

If we can look at what you have accomplished, we can really celebrate these successes.

I'm still continuing with Smiling Mind each night. It's still not natural for me to put it on, but hopefully soon.

As for the kiddos, yes they got their slime. I said they had to fork it out of their own pocket money because I wasn't going to spend $20 at Officeworks for some slime!

I've just been catching up on your posts and I can see that today has been a bit rough and that's why you are keeping yourself busy. Anything we can do to make it easier for you?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes @NightFury, I zoomed in on your close up photo and saw that the things I thought were holes were codes.

I am glad you have the diamond dot, btw where do you get them from.

I am here if you want to chat though

I haven't seem @MissGremlin for a while, I know you often chat with her

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The whole day was hard @tyme last night was hard too. The jobs just gave me a way to out run it for a bit, but when I stopped it caught up with me. But you're right, I'm glad I got some things done and having things to do did help.

The diamond art...I think I see now how much time it will take for me to complete. Not sure I have that kind of commitment to it. But I'm willing to ride out the interest while I have it and see how long it lasts.

Well done, with Smiling Minds. I've been slack with that, and was just thinking today that maybe I need to get back on track.

I don't think there's anything @tyme chatting here is helping a little. Hopefully things will reset over night and tomorrow can be a new day.

What does your day look like tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I brought a couple of cheap diamond dots off of Temu, but you can get them from Kmart, Spotlight, and other places. I wasn't sure if I was going to like doing them. This is my first one and I wanted to try some new things and see if I could find myself a new hobby.

My only friend left for Scotland on Sunday, I feel kind of rejected by my work, I feel like I messed up yesterday with your post a[edited by moderator]. I only have two sessions with my Guided Recovery Counsellor and...I don't know, it's a lot...

I've been talking through some stuff that came up around the Texas floods and my own flood experience with my counsellor - about feeling powerless, not being able to help people, wanting to keep people safe and feeling powerless to protect people from that!

I've also run into a couple of people from my past over the last week or so, from a really painful experience and I haven't seen them since that painful experience - to summarise, one of our friends died in a car accident, after that day...our friendship group also fell apart and that's brought up a lot of those...feelings and thoughts of abandonment, rejection, powerlessness and just...having to go it alone.

I just think...it's all wrapped into one big ball of complicated feelings that's making a mess of my head - well, an even bigger mess of my head.

@tyme @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Gosh, it absolutely is hard to carry these thoughts... 😔

Is there a part of you that feels it may not be true, ever so slightly?

It does make sense actually; connection is hard when we feel disconnected overall (and when our head won't stop chattering!). It would be hard to fully allow connection in, because that would mean challenging your mind's beliefs right now... but I think we can do it together? @NightFury 🩷

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I tagged you in a post above...I think it explains some of it - or the reason why it's so loud in my head with those..."I have no one" thoughts. I won't repeat it, but it's there if you want to have a read.

Yeah, there is a part of me that is like..."you have Luna and your brother and people here on the forums..." there's a part of me that challenges them, but it's not the loudest part.

I'm up for doing it together, if you are?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I don't feel like you messed up anything do do with my post. You have a lot going on and it's possible to just not see a post. I don't respond to all posts I'm tagged in.

I knew your friend was leaving and that would be hard for you.

But now with this friendship group no longer existing must be hard.

Even though I understand it's hard, you have to not take on responsibility for other people's experiences in natural disasters. I have been through a few bushfires (like actually in the bush completely surrounded by fire lying in a depression in the ground), some small flood events so I have some idea of what you might be feeling.

You only have 2 sessions with guided recovery? But you have your own psych coming up.

Sorry I'm not superly coherent myself right now. I have a massive headache and low sleep and some of my own stuff.

But I'm trying to say be easy on yourself and engage those self care strategies. You seem pretty proactive in reaching out to other services if you feel you need it which is good.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for tagging me @NightFury, I know things are a lot right now.

I can hear there is theme of abandonment, rejection, powerlessness, and aloneness... that would feel so overwhelming and vulnerable. When we have multiple triggers at once, it truly can feel so all-consuming, can't it?

The part of you who can challenge these thoughts is allowed to exist as a mere whisper right now, that is still enough. We want slow progress and growth over time, you know?

Absolutely! How else could we challenge these sticky thoughts and redirect your attention to what is? 💛

981 - 990 of 3,920