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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hey @NightFury how are you?

how'd the counselling appointment? did you end up going to the support group?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @rav3n thank you for checking in.

The counselling appointment was good. We talked about a lot of things that had come up for my over the last couple of weeks, including the uncertainty and anxiety I have regarding my future, my employment and living situation.

She wants to have a chat next time about "my safety" and that's really stressing me out already. I don't know how to talk about it, or how to feel safe talking about it. But there's a lot of anxiety there...around whether it's safe to share.

Following the appointment, I kinda got hit with a super heavy, exhaustion and struggled to move off the couch. I tried. I cooked lunch, tried to study but I just didn't have the energy and I curled back up on the couch.

I didn't make it to the in-person group. I'm trying not to beat myself up over that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury , how'd you go today?

Accomplishments? Celebrations? Pending tasks?

Completed:

- dentist

- volunteer work

- meetings

Still to complete:

- car wash

Then the rest'll have to wait!

How'd your lockitician appointment go? DId I get the word right?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @tyme

Today's been an interesting day...operating on very little sleep. Had an anxious night and couldn't turn my brain off. I haven't made it home yet, but I'm in the process of finishing up a few jobs.

I've done...

- take Luna for a walk

- hair appointment

- visit the laundromat to do my washing.

- weekly call in to my parents

- buy replacement curtain from Spotlight to replace the one my dog accidentally ripped while playing with her ball.

I haven't done and probably won't do today...

- study.

I'm just going to share but I know it makes me look silly....

I got swamped with anxiety at one point today - I missed a call from the GP and went into panic mode. I did a self-test yesterday and dropped it into pathology. When they rang today, I was preparing myself for bad news. My brain instantly goes to worse case scenario...it's a lot.

Turns out they just wanted to confirm my appointment for Monday...it makes me feel really foolish.

Shame has kind of been the theme of today.

My hair took three hours, which frustrates me because it feels like time wasted. I'm all too aware of all the jobs and things that I should be doing instead. It's a three hour drive there and back and three hours to do my hair...it was a big chunk of my day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

Firstly, congrats on what you HAVE achieved. It's important to recognise how far you have come in making it through the school holidays when there is less structure and distraction.

As for the phone call from the GP, I think you did what every other person would've done. I think we sometimes think that we are the only 'odd' ones but once we put things out there, we realise most of the population feels the same way! Why I say this is because I had a blood test the other day. Usually, it takes a week to get blood results back. Mine came back the next day and I got a text message to ask me to contact the doc and make an appointment for the results. I also went into a bit of a panic, so I read the message a few times, and only then, I saw "Make a NON-URGENT appointment".

So yeah.. it sounds like slipping into flight/fight mode is so so natural.

Which brings me back to the book, Feel the fear.... the book spoke about peopel feeling afraid of things, yet we sometimes don't realise that most of the population is also petrified of the same thing!

Thank you @NightFury for sharing!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think I've managed to get through to this point because you've been helping me add structure to my day @tyme I want to thank you for that.

Also, thank you for pointing that out about the medical appointment and test results panic I experienced earlier. It's good to be reminded that others have similar reactions.

It's easy to slip into the whole..."why am I like this?" thought spiral.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Totally! The "Why am I like this?" spiral can really send people into a spin. I know it certainly did for me!

I also want to reach out and say thank you for helping ME add structure to my day too! I'm been alittle all over the shop as well @NightFury

That's why we need each other 🙂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme it's something that plays in the back of my mind and surfaces a lot for me.

And I'm glad we were able to help each other and that it was reciprocal.

Do you have much on for the weekend?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

At this stage, I'm just taking a day at a time, so I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow yet @NightFury . Depends on what time i get to sleep. I don't even know what I'm having for dinner at the moment.

What about you? What does your day look like tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Are you doing okay, my friend? @tyme

I'm not sure what my day will look like tomorrow. I haven't decided...

I need to...

- do the study I didn't do today. I have an assignment due on Sunday where I have to choose a self care model and create a mind map that shows how it relates to wellbeing, resilience and burn out.

- hang out today's washing...

I might....

- go and play a game of lawn bowls. That depends on how I move through tonight and tomorrow morning.

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