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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

How did your goal setting go today?

For today, I was able to complete:

- sleep in

- volunteer work

- spend time with the kids out

- took the kids to Starbucks

- forums

Things I'm yet to complete:

- paper work

- wash my car

You?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme nice to hear from you today.

Sounds like you've had a busy day and I hope your niece is feeling better?

Today I've...

- completed a self-test kit the GP has been hassling me for, and I've been putting off

- dropped it into the GP

- went to the chemist

- shouted myself a coffee at Banjo's

- Brought groceries

- wrote some beliefs in my journal like @AuntGlow suggested last night.

- cleaned the oven while waiting for my appointment.

- had a counselling appointment.

- did half an hour of study

And had a hard time getting off the couch this arvo...I'm just...tired.

I didn't...

- take Luna for a walk

- go to the in-person support group.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme can you sit with me?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm in and out tonight, but I'm here @NightFury ! 🙂

Sitting with you.

I'm glad you were able to accomplish those things today. Being able to focus on these achievements, no matter how big or small, can really help retrain the brain.

What's happening for you tonight?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Anxiety I think @tyme

My breathing's off, my chest feels heavy...

But at the same time, my body feels so exhausted.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

BREATHE....

BREATHE in for 4...

HOLD for 2..

Breathe out for 8....

REPEAT this 4 times @NightFury

You ARE in control

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme thanks...

I ran through this three times...

My head feels clearer.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

This is my go-to breathing exercise I do throughout the day or when I'm starting to feel elevated @NightFury . The earlier I do it, the more effective, and the more I do it, I feel the more effective too.

4-2-8

However, it's not recommended to do it more than 4-5 times because it can lower your heart rate a bit too much and you may feel dizzy.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh, well...I'll take note of that.

Thank you sharing @tyme I appreciate you being here.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I never used to 'believe' in these breathing exercises until I learnt the science behind it @NightFury

Now, I can see how much more in control I am when I give these breathing exercises a go.

I even do it while driving sometimes.

I guess the breath is ONE thing that you always have with you and it's something you can work on controlling...

Other things? We may not always have control of.

What does tomorrow look like for you?

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