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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I missed this, I'm sorry...I'm not getting my email notifications at the moment.

The tears have stopped, I kind of just feel...heavy now and headachey. But I'd started to get teary at the start of the session...she asked me how I was doing and I felt the tears come up and my throat close up. I pushed it down and had started to talk about today and what I'd been up to instead. And then the call cut out.

The thoughts...I don't have anyone to talk to. Maybe I'm supposed to do this alone? I just need to feel safe to really talk to someone about what's been happening...and I didn't get the chance.

Edit to add more -

I think...

Things happened last night, and I tried to reach out to Lifeline, after about half an hour, I gave up and just decided to go it alone.

Content/trigger warning
Then I lied to my brother today when he noticed a scar. My safe friend...the only person who knows a little bit about what's going on for me...is leaving. It's a lot of...feeling alone, feeling unheard and unseen, feeling unsafe, feeling worried, feeling shame and guilt for lying, feeling like I need to talk to someone but not being able to...

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What does support look like for you when things are tough @NightFury ?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm not sure @tyme I'm just building the foundations. I don't know what supports for tough times really should or needs to look like.

I apologise for not putting in the trigger warning, thank you for catching it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

All good @NightFury

So when you wanted to reach out to people last night, what there anything in particular you were hoping to get?

This is not to interrogate you. It's more so we know what we can do next time.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I just...I was looking for someone to hold space for me.

Oh gosh...this is difficult.

Most of the time, I just need someone to know. I don't...there's no one that sees or knows.

I wrote in my journal this week about wanting to share the depths of what's been going on - but not feeling safe to do so. It's nothing that anyone here is doing wrong...it's my fear.

I don't know if that makes sense.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hearing you @NightFury .

It sure makes a lot of sense. I'm guessing that when you have holidays, it can be a field for your thoughts to play havoc.

Have you scheduled in anything to fill your days yet?

Do you think this would be helpful?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme that's exactly what happens. When I stop, I'm swamped...my head gets busy with thoughts and they're heavy to carry.

I'm torn because I know that I need to stop, I need to rest, but it's so uncomfortable for me to do that.

I went out today, I have something on Wednesday, we rescheduled my counselling appointment for Thursday...but I have to wait until I get paid this week to be able to do too much more.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Have you booked in any walks with Luna @NightFury ?

Hopefully you can schedule some things in to break any ongoing thought cycles which may not be helpful.

I'm going out for coffee tomorrow arvo with some mates.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme Luna and I walk every work morning at 6.45 am. It's dark, cold and foggy, but we still go for a walk. I think I need to keep that routine going, but maybe not that early in the morning during the holidays.

I need to find some things to do...while still giving myself the time to get the rest my body needs. I'm exhausted and know that I need it.

Coffee with mates sounds lovely! I'm doing coffee and lunch on Wednesday with a friend before she leaves for Scotland.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's a really great start my friend! A walk each day, coffee and lunch on Wed.

Can I help you plan anything else? @NightFury

Are you going to spend some time with your little ones?

I'm thinking to take my niece out at some point but don't know where or when. And I'm sure that by the time I think of it, it'll be the end of the holidays!

I'm also considering completing as many assignments as I can. I think I've got 3 left for this course, then I'm done and I can go back to my other course!

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