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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme a date with your niece sounds like fun. It sounds like some quality time for you both.

My little people go to daycare, so they're busy running around with their friends. There might be an afternoon where I'm asked to pick my niece up. But usually she's all tuckered out after a big day of playing and just wants to chill and watch Mickey Mouse.

I would like to take myself out for lunch one day, maybe take my book or my journal, go for a walk along the beach...or something.

I have an assignment due on Sunday that I could work on and a house to clean ready for my next inspection.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme how do you learn what supports you need and when? How do you learn to be confident and feel safe in asking for what you need? How do you know when to take the next step? How do you know what that is?

Sorry...so many questions.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I LOVE picking up the littlelies from day care! They run to you and give you lotsa hugs! Dropping them off it hard, but picking them up is sooooo special! It makes you feel like the most love aunty ever 🙂

I hope you can pace yourself with your assignment. My goal is to complete one this week, then start the next.

My Smiling Mind app is still going. It's been helpgin my niece. My niece very much has a lot of inattentive ADHD traits and really struggles to regulate and go to bed. And yes, she's over at my house sleeping over so I've put on the smiling mind app for her too.

So just for tomorrow, what are you going to do?

Walk, then?

Feel free to share if you want to plan it together. @NightFury

For me, tomorrow looks like:

- training

- coffee

- spend time with the kids

- be on the forums

- go to bed

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme she gives me that huge grin, and comes up to me with her arms up. It's beautiful. I haven't had to drop her off yet, but my brother says she cries every single time.

I love that your niece is getting something out of Smiling Minds too. It sounds like it's helping you both, and you're setting a good example for her.

I got a nine day streak, which felt like an achievement. Last night though, I didn't do it. I think 30 days in a row is too high of a goal for where I'm at with it.

My tomorrow....

- Wake up naturally (no alarm)

- Shower and clean it while I'm at it.

- Take meds and have coffee, play with the Finch ap

- Walk Luna

- Study

- Try and spend a little bit of my afternoon in "rest." It was an intention I made with my counsellor...try to spend a little time each day of the holidays doing nothing but resting....but today I was horrible at it.

... I don't know after that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What time do you think you'll finish your study? @NightFury ?

Do you have to cook?

Did you know what I realised on Finch? I keep purchasing the 'free' items, then selling them and repurchasing them so I have money to furnish my house! I'm sitting at close to 200,000 gems! My niece said it's rigged lol

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I would like to be finished by 2 at the latest. It depends on...on how my brain feels as to how long I can engage for. I'm kind of learning that I have to tackle it in small manageable chunks. It frustrates me, but if I add extra pressure, I start to lose even more motivation.

I don't need to cook. I haven't been eating well, or much at all. My meds steal my apetite. So, I ordered YouFoodz. They're small meal sizes and have veg in them. The intention was for me to get some veg content in and make it less of an excuse for me to eat poorly or neglect to eat.

Lol. Rigged? Well, it could be, but also the other argument is that you've just learnt how to work the system.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I just wanted to stop by and say goodnight, I will respond to you more tomorrow @NightFury 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow I hope you're well...

I have a question...

Do you have any advice for not getting caught up in world news? I'm struggling to separate myself from what happened in Texas with the floods.

Those poor girls, those poor parents. They set their beloved children to camp and now so many of them won't return home.

I'm a teacher and I know the responsibility we have. Parents send their children to school and place them in our care five days a week. In 2021, on the last day of school one of primary schools here had a celebration day and during that celebration a freak wind event occurred. The wind caused a jumping castle to lift in the air. It was a tragedy. And it really hit home...

And I think this tragedy in Texas hits home too. My social media is saturated by it and I can't seperate from it. It breaks my heart.

@MissGremlin

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

TW: Mentions an experience of flooding.

I can't put in a TW on my phone, if you think it needs it, please pop it in....I'm sorry.

It brings back memories as well for me...

Back in another life time, I was in the SES and we were called to a river flooding. I was also the teacher at the school where the river flooded. We were sent home because of the flood warnings, only to go back in the SES trucks. We had to sandbag local businesses and evacuate people. One of the residents was washed away in the flood, and we had to evacuate his wife. She didn't want to leave. I remember watching as animals were washed away and feeling helpless because there was nothing we could do.

I have a couple of really distinct memories that when I think of them, I'm transported back. I remember standing on the banks of the river, outside a medical centre we had juat sandbagged and on the fence in front of me were thousands of spiders and bugs escaping the flood waters. Every inch of the fence was swarming with them.

And I remember driving through flood waters in a police car. We shouldn't have been there, but we weren't going out to check on a farming property. The water just kept getting deeper as we drove through it and eventually it was up to the base of the window, I could feel it pushing against the car. I was so scared.

Afterwards, I had to go back and teach the children of the community, those reeling from the after-effects.

@AuntGlow @MissGremlin

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