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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx good night. I hope your night finishes up okay and you get some shut eye at some point too.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Night @NightFury , I'll see you next time 🙂

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow you'll probably be gone by the time I finish this reply, but I know it'll be there when you're on again.

Something like that sounds lovely actually!

I'm excited about seeing her, but worried about the emotions knowing that she's leaving and will be gone for a while. We haven't made any plans yet, except to lock it in for Wednesday.

My appointment isn't until 5.10, so I'd love it if you could check in at some point, if you have time and opportunity?

I haven't heard of Friendline. For some reason the name feels reassuring.

We started to talk about in person support groups, but didn't follow up on it. You linked me to Grow? Maybe? I checked it out online and then kind of chickened out and didn't reach out. But I would like to do some in person stuff. Friendship's are hard for me - I'm not very good at it. And have...experienced a lot of hurt around friendships.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Night @tyme hope your night goes well.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon @NightFury, how are you feeling today? 💛

I understand. You're allowed to feel all of this and even express it too. I think the fact you have a good friend shows me that you are absolutely capable of making others (even if it doesn't feel that way right now).

5.10 is just around the corner! You've got this, we are here for you.

Have a look and let me know what you think: Home | FriendLine

I understand why friendships feel vulnerable for you; I really do. I think Grow groups can be helpful because the focus is on facilitated connection and you're all there with a purpose - it takes the pressure off having to show up perfectly. You can just be where you're at and it's welcomed. ☺️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow it's almost 5.10.

I'm...all over the place today.

Something happened last night and I think I worried/scared myself and woke up with big feelings and shame and all of the heavy stuff to try and sit with today.

I went to watch my niece's half sister dance in the final day of her eisteddfods this morning. She did a hip hop group dance and a contemporary group dance. It was a bit cute.

I've been trying to do the challenge my counsellor set me this afternoon...spend a couple of hours doing nothing...and have kind of failed at it. I feel so uncomfortable. I want to do...everything, not nothing.

Resisting the urge to clean the house, and do the study and prepare teaching stuff for next term and find all of the jobs to do....is harder than actually doing the jobs.

Not sure if it's anxious energy about my phone appointment this evening, or if it's it that I am generally uncomfortable and dysregulated during down time, or if it's a fall out from not wanting to deal with my feelings.

How are you today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow there was an issue with the phones. We started the session, then everything went quiet and we couldn't hear each other, the call was disconnected and we couldn't reconnect...

Feeling really dysregulated.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury, I will respond to your other message in a moment - the phone disconnection must have felt really overwhelming because it wasn't expected. Have you received any other communication from your counsellor?

Also, what would be soothing for you right now?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow she emailed and we've rebooked the session for Thursday.

I don't know...just someone to sit with me and talk.

I have tears right now...and I don't really know why.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, this is really good to hear! @NightFury

It sounds like this triggered something for you, and that's okay, you're allowed to cry. Would you like to tell me more about the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing? 💛

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