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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know @AuntGlow it felt...I felt really uncertain. I don't know how to put words to it. I don't know if I did the right thing? Or how they'll judge me? Or if it's weird of me, for them, because I haven't had those boundaries before and I've had..."I'm such a terrible aunt," thoughts floating around in my head. But at the same time, I'm glad that I did set those boundaries this weekend.

In my opinion, the movie wasn't as good as the Jurassic movies before it. The dino's were genetically modified and were really...unrealistic. Due to my anxious brain, It was hard to feel relaxed about it, to enjoy it. But I did it.

It's sensitive because...it points out just how few people I have in my life and brings up feelings of loss around those that I have had, but have no longer...

So far I have....

- You and @Jynx (but I don't know if that's okay or not?)

- My friend and safe person.

- My counsellor through Guided Recovery.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury , Anything planned for the holiday? or just assignments?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't want to be on holidays @tyme but I need to...if that makes sense.

I don't have a lot planned...

I have to go watch my niece's sister dance in the eisteddfods tomorrow.

Wednesday I'm catching up with a friend before she leaves for a long visit back to her home in Scotland.

The following Monday, I have to have a small medical procedure done.

I also start a new block of study this week, and will have an assignment due this upcoming Sunday.

I'm just going to be trying to get through them...if I'm honest.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I totally get that, it's so bloody tough setting boundaries, especially if we haven't been taught that it's safe to do so and that it won't threaten the connection. You know, boundaries are a really loving act that (when adhered to) can strengthen relationships. A person's ability to both set and respond to boundaries also reflects their ability to self-regulate - so know that if they did react negatively, it would be a reflection of where they are at and not because you have done something wrong. @NightFury

Oh, that's interesting, isn't it? I can get why that would have pulled you away from a sense of nostalgia... What would you like to do next?

I understand this, and that pain is allowed to be there. 💛

Of course! We would be part of the services you can connect with. ☺️

I am so glad you have a safe person. When did you catch up/chat last?

How has counselling been sitting with you this week?

And what do you sense is missing in this list?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for saying that @AuntGlow, it's good reminder for me. I know, but the thoughts still circle and I needed to hear it again.

I don't know what to do next! Maybe something like taking myself out to lunch at my fave burger joint or fish and chip spot here, followed by a walk along the beach? It's freezing and I can't swim, so no water, but a walk maybe?

My safe person? We haven't caught up for maybe five or six weeks. We're having a catch up on Wednesday - she's leaving for Scotland on Friday. She's from Scotland, so she's going home to see family. She'll be back, but she'll be gone for a few months.

I have an appointment with my counsellor tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous. I connected over email last week and it was a big week that brought up a lot. She wants to talk through some of that.

I don't know? Should a service be in there? Someone for nights?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow @tyme I'm struggling right now and am on hold to chat with Lifeline.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hugs @NightFury hope you get through quickly 🤞

(つˆ⌣ˆ)つ

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx I gave up waiting after half an hour. It's okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Happy to remind you whenever you need @NightFury ✨

Ooh lunch sounds nice. I love taking myself on brunch dates - I usually take my journal or a book, then I often go for a walk and listen to music or a podcast. Maybe you could explore something like that?

Aw, how are you feeling about seeing her? I am sure it is rather bittersweet with her leaving for a few months... how will you spend your time together?

I will be here tomorrow, and I can check-in. What time is your appointment? ☺️

I think more services could be very helpful, yes. Lifeline, Beyond Blue, Suicide Callback Service... and during the day, Friendline could be nice for connection? Blue Knot is always an option too.

Have we discussed in-person support groups at all? I know the idea of making new friends might seem quite daunting right now, but is that something you might like to explore in the future? I can imagine you'd be so lovely to spend time with! 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You know sometimes I remind myself that being stuck on hold half an hour, even tho it's not what I wanted - it is still half an hour closer to bedtime, half an hour of the adrenaline working its way out of my system, half an hour I wasn't alone in my spiral.

I hope the feels are less feeeeely, and that sleep finds you soon hun.

@NightFury

(つˆ⌣ˆ)つ

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