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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @Jynx

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

OMG that's a fantastic idea @Jynx @NightFury

Hope you have a great night @NightFury, sorry to crash your thread

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 @Jynx I'll start a thread for it tomorrow.

Crash away Till23, I don't mind. But just to let you know, I have just curled up in bed, so hopefully sleep isn't that far away.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm about to head to bed too @NightFury

I have to get up early tomorrow for sport training it could be raining which won't be good, but at least warmer than this morning at 3.5 degrees at 6am. I know you are probably laughing at that and thinking oh a balmy morning 😂 but I've recently been having 30 something degree days!

Hope you get a great sleep

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 not holding my breath re getting a great sleep.

Sleep and I are not friends, but we'll see what happens.

3.5 degrees still sounds cold to me, but I'm such a sook in winter. I hate being cold.

Good night, my friend. Sleep well and good luck at training tomorrow morning.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Clearly I’m not sleeping yet either @NightFury

Has the no posts posted after midnight thing started yet?

Anyhow hope you do/did get some sleep. I will try again!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow chances are you've answered this question a few times already but - how are you? How was your weekend?

If you have some time this arvo, can we continue on with the safety planning?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening @NightFury!

I am well, thank you. I have been busy working and house-hunting. How are you feeling today? Did you end up going to a movie? 💛

Also, yes! Safety planning - can do. Where would you like to start?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow sounds like a busy weekend. I have felt a little better today, but I'm kinda on a bit of a downward slope this evening.

I've had my niece today to keep me busy. It was unplanned. My brother messaged me at 6 am this morning and I've had her since 8 am. Early this arvo, he messaged me and asked if she could stay the night, and I told him no. So, I had to drive her down to my parents and drop her there for the night.

I got myself to the movies yesterday. My brother asked me to watch my niece and I told him no...I told him that I had plans because I wanted to do something for myself. It was super touch and go though, and my anxiety was dialled up to 1000 yesterday and the world was too loud and too busy. Like...I thought my heart jumped out of my chest while in Big W when a worker put something in a shelf behind me, rather loudly. I had to leave the store to calm myself down. I was going to wave the white flag and retreat, but I chose to stay and went to see the new Jurassic World movie.

We need to look at who I can reach out too? The people I can talk or yarn too section. Fill it out a bit. But it's a tough one, a sensitive one.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I find that my mood often shifts as it gets later in the day too. @NightFury

Gah, that would have been a tough conversation - how did it feel to set that boundary?

I know you felt anxious going out (which is totally fair, especially around abrupt loud noises and busy environments), but I AM SO PROUD OF YOU for doing something loving for yourself. That is amazing. You not only nurtured yourself, but you challenged yourself too. So, let's acknowledge that effort for a moment.

How was Jurassic World??

Okay, let's look at that now. What services or people are on your list already?

And I get why this would feel somewhat sensitive, we can stop at any time. 💛

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