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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I get that, sometimes we just need to be held and given permission to feel in these moments. @NightFury Is there somewhere you can go to provide this space for yourself or anyone you can think of at the school who might listen? If not, would having Beyond Blue or Lifeline as part of your immediate plan be reassuring?

You always have our community here too. ☺️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow no, not really on both accounts. The school is busy...every space is used and then some, it's too small for our growing staff/student population. My own desk is in the middle of the staff room. There isn't a space to go to try and get some space for myself and I don't talk much to anyone, let alone the people I work with. I'm quiet and those I work with don't know about what's going on for me. It takes a long time for me to build trust.

I think...once I feel a little more safe in reaching out to supports like Beyond Blue and Lifeline, I think it could become reassuring....if that makes sense.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It does make sense, and I think in time, you will absolutely notice that reaching out becomes easier - maybe we can workshop some ways you can find moments of building trust with others or places to feel your feelings at work too? But in your own time and in ways that feel accessible, of course. @NightFury

I hope you are able to get some rest tonight - I will be back tomorrow and will check in then. 💛✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm up for that, but can we go slowish? I have a lot to work on and it overwhelms me sometimes.

Good night @AuntGlow and @tyme

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Night @NightFury

Take care

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury I hope you feel at least a little better/calmer/reassured having come to the forums tonight.

I hope you have a good day at work tomorrow

Give Luna a little hug for me. I have nothing to hug now - so it's pretty lonely here now

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Of course! Always at your pace.

I can be the same.

How are things feeling today? @NightFury 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow things aren't great today. I still feel heavy. It still feels hard and I'm exhausted by it.

I feel kind of bad for that though, because it feels like I should be shifting it or I should be "over it."

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think when situations hit a core wound or fear, it's not as easy as simply getting over them. Sometimes a trigger hits every time we have been triggered before and reverberates throughout our entire being! And that is why it's SO VALID that you would be feeling as much as you are. You're allowed to honour and feel it all @NightFury.

In saying this, healing and processing will happen. It just takes time and lots of nurturing. If one of your students came up to you and shared the same feelings, how would you respond? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I would respond with kindness @AuntGlow, but it's easier to do that for others than it is for yourself.

I just have to say, I am really not doing so well today. I don't need anything, just someone to know.

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