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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow let me check in with you...

How are you?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I understand that completely. It's so hard to do that for ourselves, I wish it wasn't. @NightFury

Maybe you could show it through action? How would you show kindness to yourself, if you could?

I appreciate you letting me know and apologies for my delay.

I am doing okay - I have a few big life changes coming up, so just doing a bit of juggling at the moment. Going to a dance class tonight though, which should be fun.

What are your plans for the weekend? 💛

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury , how are you going today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow how do I say this without sounding like I'm too much...life changes...are you still going to be here with us?

I don't know the answer to that yet, I'm sorry. Let me think about it though?

Dance class sounds fun. Me? I don't have any plans for the weekend.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Of course! @NightFury You're not getting rid of me that easy heheh

Yes, please do. We can continue looking at safety planning. I know it's slower with messaging, but I suspect that pace is helpful for you?

What would you like to do, if you could? 💫

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow good!

Safety planning sounds good. The slow pace is helpful. It kind of counteracts the overwhelm a little.

If I could, I would like to go to the movies. I haven't been in such a long time, and I love going to watch a movie, but lately I haven't managed to get myself there.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I missed the notification for this, I'm sorry.

I am...

I don't know, I just am...

I woke up feeling really heavy still, I struggled with it throughout the day and had a few really rocky moments at work.

I'm exhausted, so it doesn't help.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

All good @NightFury .

Take a deep breath. I hear the grief of not getting that position may linger for some time. What does self care look like for you tonight?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I'm struggling...

I'm supposed to go to a SANE groups session but I'm finding getting myself there challenging so the deal I've made with myself is to just listen in the background.

Following that...giving myself permission to just be...I guess. If that qualifies as self-care?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's amazing @NightFury . I hear how hard it is and it's totally okay that you just sit back and listen. There is no pressure to say anything at all - I think that's the beauty of it. In a lot of groups in the past, they mandate that you participate, but at least in these, we recognise how hard this can be sometimes.

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