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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Awwww hun @NightFury

Hugs. It's like the tip of the iceberg and the very thing that tipped you over.

What do you have planned for today? Are there things you have to do or can you focus on self care?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I have to buy some food, but then I'm going home. I just want to curl up on the couch, watch some TV...maybe sleep.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sounds like a good plan @NightFury .

Let us know how it goes. Can you fit a walk in or something?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I will.

I could take Luna for a walk. I'm not sure if I have the energy. We'll see how it goes.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I wanted to let you know that I'm okay. I did go home and curl up on the couch. I ended up sleeping for a couple of hours. I didn't get a walk in, but will try to today.

Last week was a lot and I attribute yesterday's crash to that. I have lots of questions and thoughts floating around in my head. The loudest and most obnoxious are...

- What's wrong with me?

- Why can't I get myself together? Others seem to be able to, so why can't I?

I read on a post somewhere, that you're heading away, I hope you have an amazing time.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I'm leaving early tomorrow morning so I'm glad I'm able to catch you here.

How I see it is you are doing what you can to be the best you can. Just keep going. If there comes a time when you feel you've done everything in your power and there still aren't any changes, the look at pivoting your strategies whether it includes meds or not.

At the moment, it sounds like you are still exploring the psychosocial supports and strategies available to you such as the Guided Recovery program, mindfulness etc. Perhaps give these a bit of time and then re-evaluate?

I can see you are doing your best. Please know you are not alone in navigating this.

We are here for you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't have a choice, but to keep on going. @tyme, the other option...it isn't an option.

It's hard though. I don't like feeling like this, I don't like feeling as if I'm fighting my own brain and I don't like the chaos or the feeling that my chaos spills out onto others and has an impact on others. And I don't like the day's where I crash, like I did yesterday.

I do my best to manage and to use the strategies. Meditation has actually had an impact, I think. I now meditate twice a day - of a morning and right before bed. It's helping me go to sleep with a clearer head, but I never stay asleep. But it's a positive.

A friend reminded me this week that I really need to work hard on eating correctly because food can have an impact on my moods and on my energy - but I really struggle with that. Maybe if I do some research on the link between the gut and the brain, I might feel motivated to clean up my diet.

I'm starting to consider diagnosis and medication, which is also a positive direction...I think. I just...need to work through my own barriers towards that.

And...I have a place now to be open with how I'm feeling and with my emotions. I just have to quieten the thoughts that creepy in - No one cares, maybe people think I'm sharing for attention?

I do feel alone in this sometimes. I don't talk to people about how I feel and what I'm experiencing. I have no one to talk to. When I do share, what little things I share, I struggle with wanting to withdraw because my brain starts on the I'm too much and I feel too much and people don't want that or need that, train of thought.

Anyway...you're right! I need to give it time. I have my initial/planning call tomorrow so...I'm looking forward to it because I'm hoping that it helps.

I'm trying.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme thank you. I'll take a look!

I appreciate your support. I really do.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

IN my recovery, clincians often provided those fact sheets. They have a range of topics.

When I was unwell, I didn't have an eating disorder but I had very disordered eating. This then made my mental health worse. So there is a fact sheet on disordered eating and the consequences of it @NightFury

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