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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I don't know if you're still here, but my GP appointment is in half an hour, and I'm so anxious. My belly feels like it's all knotted up and churny. Trying to take some deep breaths, but...it's not really making a difference.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's okay. I am here. Would you like to tell me 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste? @NightFury ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello lovely @NightFury! I will be leaving soon, but know that I am thinking of you. Will be back on Sunday and we can chat more then. Have a think about what is missing in your care plan, and if it feels okay, maybe you could do some journalling for 5 minutes about what your heart needs most right now? ❤️ 

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm sorry, I didn't reply.

I've had back to back appointments this afternoon. I've just got off the phone with my counsellor. I would like to continue safety planning with you on Sunday. And I can try journalling...I just need to take a breath and let things settle after work, and then some big appointments.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme are you here tonight? I don't know who's here, I'm sorry.

Can you sit with me?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury Tyme is around tonight but is generously helping out our groups team for the next little bit. I'm around though, what's going on for you at the moment?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Ru-bee thank you for replying.

I am exhausted this week. I'm exhausted tonight. I've had a follow up GP appointment this afternoon, and a call with my counsellor and we talked about some things that were hard. I needed to talk to someone, I needed to get it out and be heard, and to feel safe being heard, but I feel...the feels now. Or at least, I want to feel the feels.

It's like...my body is trying to feel them. I have that, I want to cry feeling in my throat, but I can't and I'm struggling with that at the moment - the disconnection and we talked about that tonight. I'm not...comfortable. It feels...strange.

We talked about how...my nervous system is in shut down. It's overwhelmed and has shut down to protect me, which is where that...numb, disconnected feeling comes from. It's just a hard space to navigate.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well done on making it through today @NightFury ,

It sounds like things were also tough today too. How are you feeling after this GP appointment? I'm hearing there was significant insight?

What are you doing now to look after yourself?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I'm almost through the day...

The GP appointment was okay...

I got the results of blood tests. My iron is high. She asked about haemochromatosis and if there's a history of it in my family. I don't really know the answer to that, but she wants to monitor it to make sure that it doesn't rise further because it could damage my liver.

We reviewed the medication. I talked to her about how it's changed my apetite and eating is a dysregulated thing for me at the moment. We talked about my sleep....I have to go back and have a small procedure done in the second week of the school holidays and she wants home work - she wants to hear about one thing I was excited about during the holidays and 1 thing that was boring. She also wants me to do this self test that's been sitting in the bottom of my drawer since the first appointment. I've been putting off doing it. It makes me uncomfortable...

I've just had a shower because it's one of the strategies that helps me to soothe and I'm going to wrap myself in my weighted blanket and become one with the couch!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sounds like its been a tough day after a tough week @NightFury!

Good on you for talking about the hard things. Its natural to feel pretty heightened after having a tough session, and it sounds like on top of everything else this has been a bit overwhelming. It can be disconcerting to be in that numb space, maybe those feelings will come when you have the space to feel them

I'm glad you're reaching out and staying connected here, I hope that can help tonight and wrapping yourself in a nice weighted blanket sounds very comforting!

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