FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

561 - 570 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow it's really sad that because of the way the economy is and the price of living, we have to work full time, just to survive.

Honestly, I don't know what's next for me. I don't want to stay in teaching, but still want to work with children and teens. I...had plans, ideas, something bright and meaningful but it's just...not going to happen any more. I've kind of put that to bed....

Ahaha...my heart tonight is...beating loudly in my ears and it's grateful to have the forums with people here who care enough to help and support me.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Absolutely... I am hopeful for a time this may shift for all of us. We have so much more to bring to our work when our cups are full and our nervous systems are regulated! @NightFury

I understand this. I am curious to know what those plans were, but I completely understand if you don't want to talk about it. ☺️

This is lovely, we are grateful to be able to support you!

I am ending my shift now, but I will be here tomorrow. I hope you get some rest. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @AuntGlow

I'll pop this here for you tomorrow...

I wanted to start my own business. I wanted to run workshops and group sessions for older children and teenagers around finding positive pathways through their lives. I was going to work with them to build an understanding of connecting to self, to others and to the world around them, and to learn how to use their inner compass in a world and a media culture that tells them who and what they should be.

I have my Creative Arts Therapist certification, my teaching experience and qualifications, and I'm working towards gaining qualifications in Child and Adolescent Mental Health.

I don't know think it's achievable for me any more though. Maybe it's all just a pipe dream now?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening @AuntGlow hope you're well and have had a good day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening @NightFury! How are things feeling for you today? ✨

Umm, I don't think you understand how much I love this. My brain just shouted, 'YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!!!'

But, I understand if it may not feel like a safe venture in your body just yet, or if you have changed your mind. That is all okay and very much allowed.

It really does seem like you have all the right skills, intentions, and most importantly, passion to do this though.

What makes you feel like it's not achievable? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's been a strange day @AuntGlow I've felt kinda...ambivalent most of the day. Tonight that's changed and I feel like my heart's beating out of my chest and I got kinda emotional at your question.

I haven't changed my mind. Not at all. That's the life and the career journey that I want for myself.

It just feels like it's moved so far out of my reach...

I feel broken and lost and...disconnected, so how can I help others to find their way, to feel connected? I don't know whether I'm going to make it through my studies to get proper certification....

This idea of my future gave me hope...now, I don't know.

And I don't have the supports around me that I had. I don't have belief in myself, in my ability to make it happen for myself. I had someone who believed in me and in my capacity to build it for myself - but I don't have that any more and I can't carry that for myself.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hmm, I wonder if we can allow in and nurture these feelings? What do you think you need most right now? @NightFury

I really, really resonate with this in so many ways. 💛

And I understand this perspective. To counteract it though... sometimes we can heal others (and ourselves) in the process of exploring things we are passionate about. I am definitely still in the process of working through things, but supporting others is always a healing for me as well. Does that make sense?

I get how hard it can be to believe in ourselves, and it must be so painful to have lost that person who brought you such a sense of hope. You're allowed to grieve this, to feel uncertain, all of it.

But I do wonder if other people could help to connect you with that sense of hope? For example, I know for a fact that we all believe in you...🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow it does make sense that supporting others is healing for you as well. I think I've seen other peer support workers say similar here.

I wanted to acknowledge that I've read your reply, it's on my mind, but I'm struggling to find the words to respond.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme 8 day Smiling Mind streak. How you going with it?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Tonight will be my 6th day streak 🙂 @NightFury

It's been really good to do. I just have to remember to do it!

561 - 570 of 3,920