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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

There are soo many great options for me to look into, thank you! @NightFury

I watched that when I was little too, with my mum. Very nostalgic. ❤️

I like dramedy... things that make me think, feel, but also laugh. Jane The Virgin is one of my favourites. (Please watch it!)

I like psychological thrillers too! I will send you more specifics tomorrow.

PS: I am going to say goodnight now, as I will be wrapping up soon, but I hope you sleep well tonight. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I also wanted to add that I really like how your heart is saying to keep reaching out. Know that your heart is always a window into a deeper knowing. So, keep coming back to this space if you can. ❤️ @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon @NightFury,

How are you feeling? 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

I'm at work, but have non-teaching time this afternoon. So, just doing some planning and organising for next week.

How are you? How was your day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How did the rest of your workday go? @NightFury 💛

I am taking things slowly again today. Some days I simply move my body, drink some coffee, and hang out with all of you! hehe

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow sounds like a lovely way to spend the day. Sometimes I wish I had a bit more of that in my days - but also, I acknowledge that when I try...I fail miserably at the slowing down part. I'll get there though...small steps.

Um...

We had staff meeting after work. We talked about our parent/teacher conferences coming up next week. It makes for a long work day, but my work day wasn't too stressful today.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I didn't have an abundance of that when I was working 9-5, so I feel very fortunate that these hours can accommodate for some slower starts.

Have you ever done shift work before? If so, how was it for you?

It's very hard - slowing down can make you feel... a lot. haha So, it's natural to find it challenging. I think you are doing really well with finding your moments of slow though. 💛

A less stressful day must have been nice for you. What does the rest of tonight have in store?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow 9 - 5 is hard work, and you don't see a lot of that...time to slow down. You get home and then have home jobs to do.

I've done casual work, which was kind of like shift work. I did some work as a support worker for children and adolescents who struggled in the school system. I helped families set up home schooling routines and worked as a private tutor, while also helping them to develop social and life skills. It was okay. I would work 8 am - 12 pm, then start again at 3 or 4 and work till whatever time. I enjoyed having big chunks of time off during the day where I could do what I needed to do for me and take a three hour lunch, come home and breathe and re-centre.

I don't know what the rest of my night looks like Aunt Glow. I'm kinda struggling with my anxiety and with thoughts that make me feel a little unsafe. I've been reaching out here, running through grounding activities with Dreamy and using strategies...I'll be fine. I'm going to have a hot drink and chocolate and try and practice slowing my body down.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Gosh, I know - fulltime work is genuinely so challenging. I think we were made to spend so much more time connecting, creating, and enjoying our beautiful earth. @NightFury

How wonderful! It sounds like you have done a lot of meaningful work throughout your career. What do you think could be next? That balance sounds perfect. I wonder how we can cultivate more of that in your current role?

That's really great noticing of what's happening in your body. I am happy to see you are supporting your nervous system though soothing and grounding. I know things are feeling unsafe, but I can see that you're doing a great job of supporting yourself.

Now, you know what I am going to ask... what does your heart have to say? ❤️

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