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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlowI love to read, so a book club would be good, but it would need to be one where I don't feel a lot of pressure. I don't want to put pressure on something I enjoy, in case I lose the enjoyment from it. I don't want it to be stressful.

And, I would join either/or. I would need to look into what's available here support group wise and sister circle wise. But a support group was also came to my mind when you mentioned maybe brainstorming ideas.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I had a look at the resource you gave me for alternatives to SH.

Drawing on myself might be an interesting one to try, or a sharp and scratchy pen. I've actually used the running my hands under freezing cold water, without really realising why I was using it. Also, I love peeling glue off my hands, which sounds weird, I know.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh, I am so glad you found some things that you might like to try - yay! 🤩

And low stakes/pressure is a really good place to start. Have a little explore online and please keep me updated!

You might also like to look through Grow and see if there are any groups near you: Peer support groups for mental health - GROW Australia ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @AuntGlow

Are you able to sit with me for a bit? I know you're busy and it's okay if you can't.

How are you? How was your day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes, of course! @NightFury

I am well, today was a slower day because I have been working a lot. Went to pilates, bought some groceries, drank lots of coffee (always), and watched some of Ginny and Georgia - such a good show!

What about you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow sounds like a good day. I'm all for drinking lots of coffee and I've been watching Ginny and Georgia too. I like it.

I went to work and taught all day. After work, I came home and was finally able to get the washing off the line (it only took a week to dry), I rang and changed my next GP appointment, cleaned up the yard a bit, did some poopa scoopin', brought some wood up from the shed for the night, sorted the rubbish and took the bins out, cooked dinner, did a little bit of study and attended a SANE groups session. I've just folded the washing and need to start slowing myself down, but I'm just...feeling a tad vulnerable tonight.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury It's so good! What do you enjoy about it? (I have a crush on Joe).

Whoah, this is a very full day! Would you like to talk about what's making you feel this way at all? Or do you want to sit with the things that feel lighter/soothing?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow Joe is a sweetie. I like that it deals with the mental health issues and challenges that young people experience. I've taught high school and have seen my student's go through similar things.

I want to sit with more soothing things. But just to share, I've had some SI today. I haven't really stopped to let it catch up to me though. I'm safe and will head to bed soonish, I just need some gentleness, some soothing, some inner calm before I try and sleep.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes, absolutely. It does that very well. Are there any other shows you can recommend that you've really loved? @NightFury

I used to watch this show called 'Being Erica'. It's super hard to find anywhere, but it was about a woman who met this angel-like therapist who could help her travel back in time to 'undo' her regrets. However, she would usually learn that there was a lesson from all of her experiences, relevant to the present, and that any choice would have had some level of consequence. What was important was the lesson and the growth. It got me through some really tough times - I think you'd like it.

Thank you for sharing this with me... if you put a hand on your heart, what does it have to say tonight?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I watch a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to TV shows. I love a good sci fi/fantasy series. A Discovery of Witches was good. The Sandman was excellent. The Wheel of Time, Game of Thrones, the Witcher.

Then I like hospital shows - my fave being New Amsterdam with The Resident running close second.

I like some girly shows like...Heartland, Fire Country, Sullivan's Crossing, the Gilmore Girls.

Then there's my little interest in things unexplained - I love Finding Bigfoot, Kindred Spirits, and Expedition Unknown.

That show sounds fascinating. I loved watching Touched by an Angel as a teenager, it was so...heart warming. It reminds me of that a little. What else do you like to watch?

My heart...it says to keep reaching out.

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