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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Not great @AuntGlow thank you for checking in.

How are you? How's your back doing?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh, I am sorry to hear that. 😔 Do you want to talk about it at all? @NightFury

I am well! I was lucky enough to spend some time with the team today, which was lovely. My back is getting there... I definitely want to start more movement again soon (but I have to be gentler with myself next time haha).

What did you do today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm glad it's getting there. Now the challenge will be for you to not get too excited and go too hard, too fast. Let it heal.

I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about it. It's been a rough day, and I came very close to having a melt down at work today. I'm flat and frazzled, and tired and putting into place some things from my safety plan...

I worked today. I teach Grade 5/6 students. I have a class of 27 very busy, very challenging Grade 5/6 students. We had lots of staff sick so we all had to take on extra today and there wasn't any support from leadership. This morning we did an information report on a wild animal (to go with the art project, they've been working on), then we did some spelling stuff, between recess and lunch we did a Maths test, and after lunch we had Mindfulness and Buddies (once a week we do a lesson with the Kinders). Then I picked up my niece from day care, she went home at around 7 ish and now I'm studying.

What did you get up to today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Yes, exactly! Thank you. ☺️

That's sooo okay. I get that. I have had many work meltdowns in my time... sometimes it all just becomes too much pressure with very little energy to give, doesn't it? I am sure you are exhausted, I know you are someone who always does their very best.

Big hugs. 🤗

I am really glad to hear you are turning to your safety plan, that will be really helpful tonight.

Goodness me, that age bracket can certainly be a handful, can't it? I can hear you have had a very full-on day. What is your body asking for most right now? 💗

I had some training in the office with the other peer support workers! (So that we are able to support all of you even better hehe.) It was really nice. We ended the day with some chilli noodles😋.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm doing my best to hold it together at work, but sometimes...like today...the physicality of my anxiety becomes hard to deal with. It floods my system and is really physically and emotionally uncomfortable. it impacts upon my ability to work at full capacity with the kids.

The safety plan, will be really helpful tonight I'm struggling. I'm okay, but I'm struggling and I'm trying to distract myself from my own thoughts.

My body is asking for rest.

It sounds like a lovely day @AuntGlow. It's always nice when you can get together with like minded people, doing what they love and enjoy and share collegial conversation that grows and expands.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Oh gosh, that feeling really is all-consuming, isn't it? It can be SO hard to focus on anything else... what do you notice helps these bigger sensations to pass?

The fact you are able to articulate this and acknowledge that you need extra support is huge! I encourage you to draw upon as many resources as possible tonight and know that we are all here for you - you're not alone (even when it may feel that way).

Then rest it is. 💕

Absolutely! Thank you for your support. I hope you are able to get some rest tonight. ✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow today...I needed to take some time out in my classroom...just five minutes alone before letting the kids in. But I reached out here and that helped...communicating those feelings, pointing them out and having someone hear it...helps. I tried some deep breathing, I needed to calm the whole class after lunch so I put some calming music on and they did some free drawing and that gave me some space to work on calming myself too - coregulation is something we use in the classroom a lot.

Thank you AuntGlow. I hope you get some rest too. Good night.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hey @NightFury i was reading through your strategy list that we talked about a few days ago and wow - you've got a great variety of tools to keep in your self-care toolbox! i do know that they won't all be useful all of the time, but it's nice that you can rotate through a few different ones when you need.

how are you holding up?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@rav3n thank you for checking in. This week has been hard and I'm not doing so well. I'm at work, so can't go into details here. But struggle street is real this week.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury sorry to hear this week's been a big struggle, sounds exhausting. i hope you get a chance to rest up and recharge. totally okay if you can't chat about it right now, we're all here for you. 💙

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