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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Of course! Give her a big hug if you can, it may help with the release of some feel-good chemicals. 🥰 @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

She's gone home now. I got a hug and a kiss and a "nuff nuff" (love you!)

I'm going to put this in a trigger warning...because...I want to make sure that I don't get in trouble. Please don't judge, please don't worry.

Trigger warning: Self harm

Content/trigger warning
TW: Self harm...


I'm feel icky in my own skin.

My psoriasis has flared up over the last couple of days, and it's sore and itchy and inflamed. My skin has always been a sore point for me - I've always felt embarrassed and have had to avoid certain situations or experiences because...I'm not comfortable in my own skin and I'm not comfortable with other people's reactions to it.

And...I have SH now too

I couldn't share my SH challenges that I'm experiencing with my friend on Saturday and that's the thing that I really rehearsed over and over in my head for a week.

As I said to @rav3n I'm ashamed of my mental health and of myself!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you so much for sharing this 🥰 @NightFury

Feeling icky in your own skin is very real and uncomfortable. Having other people perceive us and potentially 'judge' is always really hard to sit with too... it would be so much easier if peoples' default was being understanding and kind, hey? I wonder what it would be like to hold space for some more love towards your body?

Self-harm is such a vulnerable topic and very complex, isn't it? I really encourage you to be super gentle with yourself around not sharing - it's really tough terrain to navigate. And I can imagine if you were rehearsing it, it would have felt really big to share, and perhaps a tad pressure-filled to get it 'right'?

You are allowed to revisit this conversation next time, if it feels right.

Your stories and shames are always welcome here (and never judged!) 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I don't know what it would feel like. I've never been able to.

It is a vulnerable topic and it's really complex and how I feel about it is really complex. I was so afraid it would change the way she saw me - I don't want people to worry, or feel sorry for me, or treat me differently. But it's complex because...also I kinda need that gentleness. Part of me wants to protect it and put up walls and keep people from seeing me, but part of me just wants someone to care.

I feel all shaky now, like trembly in the legs and swirly in the stomach.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hugs to you @NightFury i do have to hop off, but i will respond to your posts here and on the other thread when i'm on next.

for now, take care and i wanna leave you with something i read - when you're 18, it's your first year of being an adult. it's a completely new experience and your 20s-30s are essentially you growing up AGAIN. and some people are still doing a lot of growing/learning in their 60s+

chat to you soon 💙

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@rav3n thank you for supporting me tonight. I hope you enjoy the rest of your night.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I get that and that's really common, I think. 💗

That makes complete sense. It is really complicated, and it does make sharing hard. It's very human to worry how you will be perceived and if you will be accepted after sharing something so nuanced and vulnerable.

However, I think the people that are meant for us will love, hold, and nurture our wounds. And if this person feels safe for you, I get the sense they will do exactly that. 🥰

Is that trembly feeling still present for you at all?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I have to go now, so just wanted to say goodnight. We have some training coming up this week, so I may or may not be online as much - but will respond whenever I can. Will be thinking of you! 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow no, I'm tucked up in bed, trying to stay warm, but I'm feeling a bit more settled.

Good night. Enjoy your training. Thank you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How are you feeling this evening @NightFury? ✨💛

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