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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @MissGremlin I was awake early this morning, so I've gotten most of my jobs done already. I need to hang the washing out and do a quick run to the shop for chicken stock, for my chicken and veggie soup I'm cooking in the slow cooker.

How's it going over there?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury you've done incredible to get things done this morning, well done sweet. Chicken and veggie soup sounds yummy 😋.

You've just reminded me that I need to put washing in. Things are tough here, a day to try to be gentle with myself.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Being gentle with your good self sounds like a great plan @MissGremlin

I am going to make a coffee, do some of my paint by number and pick something to watch on TV.

I have things to do later today.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury will see how i go with it!

That sounds perfect for some self care, hope you enjoy it sweet and that the rest of your day goes well ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury 🫶

The notion of treating your mental health with the same care and nurturing as physical health is so valuable. If you allowed yourself that grace... what might be different?

I hear you, and this kind of loss is no small thing. It would feel really heavy to no longer have his steady, wise, consistent presence around. You're allowed to grieve this. 💛

I wonder if there is a book you could read to honour and connect to his presence within you right now?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What might be different? @AuntGlow I might allow myself to take a day off when I'm not feeling fantastic because of my mental health. I might give myself more grace and give myself permission to rest instead of pushing and fighting and denying it.

Good question about the book. I don't know. I'll have a think about it. We read different genres, but there was a series. I just don't own it.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh my. This is hard. I'm with you in this space. Safe? Not safe? Memories that affect your brains ability to learn and process. Just hang in there. Is there anything at all that gives you momentary comfort? Not a cure. Not a diagnosis. Just ideas. What do you have in your Feel Good About Me Bag? We gotta find it yeah?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Morning @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you today ❤️

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @MissGremlin just getting through the day over here.

How are things over there?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury it's been hard to get through the day here, I'm completely exhausted.

Sending hugs sweetheart ❤️

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