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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you ❤️

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury , missing you lots my friend xxx

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @MissGremlin I'm kind of trying to avoid social media/my phone a little at the moment. I'm finding the images out of the disaster in Nepal to be really confronting.

@Shaz51 I was so happy to see you online, when I popped in birefly yesterday. I was afraid that you'd left. I missed you.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury can completely understand that. I don't really use social media, like I have Facebook but other than being an admin on the group I help with i don't just scroll through the posts on Facebook. Same as I don't watch the news but I do have the radio on most of the time, though I tune out of the talking so don't even hear what's going on. I find it all too depressing and triggering. Big hugs to you sweetheart ❤️

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury,

How are you? 💛

And hello @MissGremlin, @Shaz51, so nice to see you here as well. Would love to hear how you are all going. 🥰

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @AuntGlow, I'm very mentally unwell. I've given up, I feel like there's no hope of things getting better. I can't even say on here what's been happening, but I'm really just not ok. I've tried my best to reach out, to get support but it's clear that I don't matter to anyone. I'm sorry I know it's not recovery focused but it's where I'm at right now. I'm safe for the moment, sitting in bed doing diamond art.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hear you, lovely. Know that these feelings are allowed to be there - remember when we discussed the idea of integrating all feelings a while back? Part of our recovery also includes having moments like this and then gently redirecting our attention to self-care and self-soothing (which you are doing, and I am so proud of you!).

I know these thoughts and feelings must be really big in your mind and body right now, which I get makes them hard to simply put aside... but I wonder what would help things feel even 1% lighter tonight? @MissGremlin 💛

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow i wish I could say exactly what's been going on here, so you know where I'm at. I'm honestly not sure if it's possible for things to feel lighter 😞. I feel like my world has crumbled, I'm trapped under the rubble but there's no way I can dig myself out and there's noone coming to save me (I'm safe).

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I understand @MissGremlin, and I can only imagine how scary this must feel... is there a way we can get through tonight? Maybe that can be the focus right now? Then we can reset tomorrow and look at what support options you can explore - how does that sound? 🫶

Also, please remember to always call Lifeline or 000 if you are feeling very unsafe, okay? Here with you.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm trying so hard to even though I don't want to. I'm truly hurting so much and that pain is unbearable to live with. I've never been this mentally unwell and that's what scares me the most.

I'm currently waiting to connect with lifeline, it's the only way I've been able to get through. But I wish they would take it seriously when I tell them what I've been doing, I'm doing my best to reach out for help and being honest in telling them everything. I just feel like i don't matter, like I'm invisible and insignificant. I'm safe, laying in bed while I wait to talk to lifeline.

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