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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That sounds so lovely. @NightFury 🥹

Was it somewhat validating to hear her say this?

I am with you... is there anything on your mind or heart that you'd like to share? 🫶

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know how I feel about what she said @AuntGlow it feels weird. I've never seen it as a result of me being unwell. It was kind of a shock...maybe? Though shock is probably not the right word. It's made me think about things - like the fact that I've not allowed myself the grace of seeing my mental health challenges in the same way as physical illness. I fight it...all of the time, and that's not something I would do if I had the flu or was physically unwell.

AuntGlow, I miss my Grandad and his steady, wise and consistent prescence in my life and it makes me sad. I'm starting to see the parts of me that came from him - like the fact that I love to read. He loved to read and we would often swap books with each other or chat about the books we'd read.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you today ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @MissGremlin it's been a busy week (as usual) so I'm grateful that it's Friday.

How are things over there?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I'm very much glad that it's Friday aswell. Do you have anything planned for the weekend sweet?

Things have been really tough here, barely any sleep and trying to deal with lots of grief and trauma anniversaries is so hard (I'm safe).

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I can relate @MissGremlin next week it's 12 months since I lost of my Grandad. It's heavy.

Saturday will be spent pottering around home, doing jobs and Sunday, I could be selling my broken down car.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury 12 months already, it doesn't feel like that long. Sending you hugs sweetheart ❤️. Yesterday was 5 months since my niece took her life in March and my uncle passed away on the same day, tomorrow marks 8 months since my other niece was laid to rest in December.

Selling your broken car will be good. Does that mean you managed to get a new one?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's so hard @MissGremlin and grief is something that can sneak up on you. All it takes is one thought.

I am buying my Mum's car. I had a deposit on a car at a car dealership, then freaked out and couldn't deal. It was stressful and there was too much involved and it was a lot. I was pretty unwell for a couple of days because of it. So, I pulled the pin and decided to take my Mum's offer. It just felt easier and within my capacity.

Do you have plans for the weekend?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury it definitely sneaks up on you, it's incredibly hard.

I'm sorry that it made you so unwell sweet but I'm really glad that buying your mums car was an option and it sounds like a much better one.

I don't have any plans other than a shopping trip.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Morning @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you today ❤️.

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