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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you today ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Really super anxious/stressed today @MissGremlin I have a lot going on today

How are things over there?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I'm sorry to hear sweet, I'm here if you want to talk about anything or I'll just sit with you ❤️.

It's been a really mixed day today, I'm just sort of plodding along.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Afternoon @NightFury 😊, I hear your week has been a bit up and down. Always around if you ever want to chat. Are your days off Saturday/Sunday? Half way through the week if it is. You got this 💪. I am doing better thanks for asking, had my storm 🌀recently. Definitely understand the hard days that’s for sure and I hope you manage to feel better soon 😊

Also sorry I just reread my last post to you and thought well that didn’t come out right 🤭, I know you know what I meant though, well hopefully 🙈 whoops 😜.

I’m out at the moment, do you like camping? 🔥. I swear anything could be going wrong around me and I don’t seem to care. Finally my smoke detector (in my brain) stops alarming. I forgot the marshmallows though hehe

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Plodding along is okay @MissGremlin

I am trying to buy a new car. My car needs a new engine and the quote was ridiculous, so I'm trying to buy a new car. It's a lot of financial pressure. It makes me feel super anxious, and all the organisation around it and paper work etc, it's a lot.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Chasingsunsets my days off are Saturday and Sunday, and I have an RDO once a fortnight.

I'm glad to hear that things are going okay for you and have settled. But I'm sorry to say...I hate camping. I am a hotel room person all the way. I hate sleeping on the ground, I hate the dirt and the bugs and the being outside all of the time. Lol.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I'm sorry to hear about your car sweet, buying a new one can be very stressful with everything that needs to be organised. I hope you can get it sorted soon so things settle for you. Lots of love and hugs sweetheart ❤️.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh nice one @NightFury! now long until the weekend now two more days! The RDOs must be nice too!

HA! That’s okay re camping! Hotels and glamping are absolutely fine too ☺️. Oh yes the dirt and bugs definitely can be over rated especially if one insect makes it into your swag before you have zipped it up 🙈 haha. Nah I just thought of you when we were talking about marshmallows around the fire once so thought I’d ask ☺️. Good luck with the car stuff I just read you were talking about it with @MissGremlin it’s understandable you feel anxious about it. when you finally get something imagine how you will feel, something reliable and where you won’t have worries of it failing on you, but yes decisions like this get me too and I get very mistrusting 🙈esp if it’s an area I don’t know much about like cars however I have managed to get one when I have required one, so no impossible just a logistical nightmare right 🙈. What are you up to tonight?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury,

Just responding to your message here. I know the last couple of weeks have been hard, but I am so glad time with your niece was nice, I know she always brings out that sense of lightness/play for you.

What have you been processing since your psychology appointment?

Oh wow... yes. Grief must be very heavy on your heart right now. I wonder what would help you to hold this grief safely right now?

Have you seen that we are merging with Griefline? They will have some support you can access and we will have a grief-specific forums space too. 💛

I understand... it can feel rather vulnerable when life gets extra quiet. When you think of connecting, who or what comes to mind first?

Comfort foods are the best!! What do you go to usually? (I love food, so I am very here for this conversation hehe). Validating your emotions in this way sounds very healthy and healing. How does it feel to recognise, name, and validate?

Also, hello @MissGremlin, @Chasingsunsets would love for you to be a part of this conversation! 🫶

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Time with my niece was just very chilled @AuntGlow she sought lots of hugs and snuggles.

My last psychology appointment we talked about Queensland. About why I went, about what happened over there and why I came home. My psychologist made a comment that's stuck...about how I must have been really unwell to have made the decision to leave everyone and everything I know here. I don't think I've seen my mental health as being a state of wellness or unwellness before. I'm still trying to sit with that. She mentioned that she wished I'd had someone like her to support me through that.

I did see the merge with Grief line. Grief has been coming in waves and sitting heavily on my chest. My Grandad is always in the back of my mind at the moment, and just one thought brings it all foreward.

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