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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I don't know if I'd call it a trip. She lives about an hour and a half away. So, it's a drive and a beautiful setting with amazingly supportive company for a couple of hours.

No, Luna can't come with me. She has a dog, and Luna isn't comfortable around other dogs.

I'm glad you might get to relax a bit before you go, it might help you to feel more relaxed on the day of your trip.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's not so much the length of the trip @NightFury as the type of trip. It's moving, moving in the right direction towards kindness and care, it reminds you that you are good enough and not irrelevant.

It's unfortunate Luna can't go, my dogs loved the beach. Running flat out on the soft sand and my girl used to try to bite the waves as they broke on the shore, and thought she had done a great job when the water receeded until she had to bite them back when they came up again!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What a beautiful memory of your dogga @Till23

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

My advice @NightFury is to take lots of photos, the years go so fast. I have some great photos, little videos and memories of them

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 My dog and my niece are the only things I seem to take photos of. But I agree...

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello lovely @NightFury! Sorry we didn't get to chat yesterday, I was on light duties in the background, as I was nursing a hefty migraine. 🥲

How are you feeling today? What's the goss? Tell me everything! 😍

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow. I hope you're feeling better today. Migraine's are horrible.

I don't even know where to start. Are you sure you want to know everything? Hahaha.

Umm...

On Saturday, I went and had coffee with a friend. It was my intention to share what's been going on for me - so that someone in my life knows. She has lived experience and is a safe person. It was beautiful we walked along the beach and talked and shared to a certain extent. Then, we had coffee at one of the cafes in the area. I left feeling like I'd shared, but had somehow managed to sugar coated things and only shared the surface stuff. So, I'm frustrated.

I also forgot the basics of self care and didn't eat or drink most of the day and ended up a bit spinny. I honestly can't believe I did that. I was so focused on having a conversation with a friend and on working out what to say in my head...the rest just went by the way side.

Yesterday, I was kinda spacey, and had to really focus my brain on tasks because it would keep drifting off and getting lost in other things. I intended to spend the day studying but I didn't have the mental capacity to focus. Later in the day my mood shifted and I crashed.

I've booked a GP appointment for a couple of weeks to get a MHCP and have been working through that with Jynx. I um...didn't realise how impacted I was by...experiences I've had and my fear. So I've been trying to work through that. I'm terribly anxious already about the appointment so I'm going to try and do some pre-planning.

Today, I've had a headache all day and it's getting worse as the afternoon wears on. It's been a busy day at work with lots of other staff sickness and no time to breathe. But, I seriously need to get some study done tonight and I have a SANE group thingymabob. I have a 2500 word literature review due on Sunday. I feel like it's going to be a long week.

I've been watching some of the Holistic Psychologist's videos on YouTube, but it's one of those things that I need to do in small doses.

I don't even know if that's everything...but it's somethings. I'm sure other things will come up as we chat...that is...if you want to chat.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have read this and will respond as soon as I can, there's been a lot going on tonight! Just letting you know I am not ignoring you and always look forward to your reflections. 💛

@NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I know. I know you're busy. It's okay.

Hi there @Till23 not long now hey? How are you?

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