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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have travelled a bit before @NightFury and lived in the UK for a few years. I usually do everything including travel by myself, so I'm used to that.

Even if I'm in a group on a tour or something it's just me to start with.

I will be on a cruise for a couple of days sharing a cabin with someone I don't know yet, so there's not a lot of room in a cabin. But I'm trying not to think about it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 they are probably just as nervous as what you are.

Tomorrow's Friday, what do you have planned?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Possibly @NightFury

Friday is just more prepping for the trip

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 sounds like it will keep you busy tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I know you're not here until Sunday, and it doesn't matter, just getting it out so that someone knows...helps.

I had great day yesterday. I felt lighter, more energised and motivated. My work day was hassle free and I had my niece until 7 pm. I was even able to tackle some study once she had gonee home. But, it was the kind of energy that...is anxiety fuelled. It's...hard to describe...and I couldn't settle my body and brain enough to sleep well.

I woke up in the middle of the night twice in a panic, from nightmares that I don't remember. I tried to reach out here, because often all I need when that happens, is to talk to someone while I work on calming my system, but it was late and nobody was active.

This morning, my head feels like it's in a vice, I feel foggy and anxious at the same time and my thoughts are swirling and reminding me of how...irrelevant and invisible I am.

I am just about to go into work, so I'm safe and will be okay throughout the day. I'm always okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm sorry to hear this @NightFury sounds like a hard night. Yes there are not many people on the forums late at night or in the early morning. There are moderators but I'm not sure if they work all night.

However you are definitely not irrelevant. All your pupils and the other teachers and your N would not think you are irrelevant and that's just a few that I can think of off the top of my head.

I hope your nervous system is able to settle down and you have a good day, even if the start was not ideal.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 how did the trip preparations go today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury how are you?

It was actually mostly sunny today so I did two loads of washing. I don't have a drier so need to put on washing line.

I had a pretty good day on the trip preparation front, got a few things done that were worrying me a bit.

Did a test pack of my bag and everything fit including all the sport stuff, a couple more things need to go in but I was happy with that.

How did your day end up going after a not very good night?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I don't have a drier either so it's all line drying here too.

Sounds like you've got things under control on the trip preparation front. It's nice to tick things off your list too, especially those things that are worrying you.

Today's been a challenge.

But I'm heading on a bit of a road trip tomorrow to a friend's house. She lives by the beach and we're going to beach walk if the weather's good, catch up and have coffee. I'm looking forward to that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh @NightFury you're going on a trip as well. That's sounds like a lovely trip, hopefully the weather will be nice for you. It's got a lot of positive things in this trip; nature, coffee and friend. Will you be able to take your dog?

I hope I haven't forgotten anything important, but I'm feeling like I'll actually be able to relax a bit before I go. Which I need to do a bit as I've been a bit stressed lately.

I still have to do all the home things like mow lawns etc, hopefully tomorrow as it's not supposed to rain tomorrow.

I'll look forward to hearing about your trip

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