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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury how was your day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 hi there.

My day was an improvement on the last couple of days. I slept a full night, then woke up with more energy than I have had this week. I still have the rug rat here. I picked her up from daycare and took her to see the horses down the road from my house. I'm currently cooking us dinner and she's watching Mickey. My anxiety brain is strong tonight, but it's so much better than the lows and the brain fog!

How was your day!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh I'm so glad to hear that @NightFury

Getting adequate sleep is so important for physical and mental wellbeing.

Has the RR been staying with you overnight for a few days? Do you like having them with you?

I'm a bit the same it's either anxiety or feeling down, I don't seem to land on normal.

I was feeling pretty down last night and I didn't sleep well at all. I was worrying about something I said on the forums and how that impacted a couple of people.

Today I've been full of anxiety running around like a headless chook trying to get things ready for trip.

Hope you have a nice dinner with RR

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 No, she's not been staying with me. I've been picking her up after school and her Dad's been picking her up around 7 pm each night. I love having her around, but it's a lot after work and tonight...when she leaves I'll need to jump on the laptop and do a couple of hours of study because I've not touched it this week.

But...I have that...I don't know how to describe it...anxious energy turned up hight today and so I need to make the best of it while I can.

I'm convinced that I don't have a "normal" setting.

And, I saw your post and their thread and it's okay. It's okay for you to post like you did, it's okay for them to feel something about it and it's okay for you to worry. All of those things are perfectly normal reactions. I get it. I've said things here that's made me take a step back and assess and worry. So, you're not alone there.

I bet you're packing frantically. Try not to overtime it, enjoy the process. Easier said than done, I know.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well I'm actually happy you have had a couple of days off study @NightFury. That would have cleared a bit of head space even if just temporarily.

Yes I know I don't have a "normal" setting 😂

But yes the better sleeping and having a break, probably means if you can direct your energy to studying you should get through it.

Thanks for your support. When I'm pretty anxious my brain is sort of full and I don't seem to have much space for new things.

I haven't started actually packing yet, but just buying things I need and organising stuff for while I'm away and things for here while I'm away.

I'm certainly not doing any washing was supposed to be sunny today, but sprinkling and cold all day!

I hope you get some good study in this evening

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 it feels strange on here tonight. Everyone's so quiet...it's a little unsettling.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 it seems we posted at the same time. Lol.

The headspace is hard work when anxiety ramps up, I know. So, you're doing a great job, while organising yourself for your trip away.

I know it's a complex question and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to, but are you excited?

I've had washing on the line since Sunday and have only just managed to get it in today. It's been so wet here too. Rain every day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It is thursday night @NightFury and that is late night shopping in a lot of places. It is quieter some nights than others and it's usually quiet in the days.

No I'm not excited and I hate that numb or blunted feeling. I'm anxious which is a heightened nervous system but it's different from excitement.

If I could tell you what I was doing you'd probably be amazed I'm not excited. I'm hoping I get excited when I get on the plane because there I can't do anything it's out of my control, so I can only look forward.

I ahve had glimpses of excitement and people that know what I am doing are excited for me! Maybe once I get a few more things sorted I will be excited. I am in a depressive episode so it is hard and I am worried that some PTSD symptoms will be heightened and how I might react. I also don't want to ahve an episode at night and disturb other people plus I will be embarrassed.

Yes I need at least one more fully sunny day to get some things I want to take dry.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Another reason it is quiet tonight @NightFury I've just discovered there are no Peer Support workers on, there's a couple of moderators but members don't know them as well as the Peer Support Workers, so there'e less chat

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I'm not amazed that you're not excited. When I went to Fiji last year, I was absolutely, completely overwhelmed and terrified. My first reaction to arriving in Fiji, I balled my eyes out on a very small public transfer bus. I was so wound up, so anxious and so overwhelmed about being in a totally foreign country, on my own, with no one familiar and nothing familiar to help me feel safe. And as I was balling, I was judging myself...I'm in a foreign country, my first time overseas and I should have been excited and happy. I just couldn't at that time...that came as I settled. It took a couple of days, but I got there.

I also totally get the fear of hitting your triggers while you're away. I shared accommodation in Fiji and was afraid of the same thing. I have nightmares, often really loud, dramatic and horrible nightmares. And I did have a couple of those the first few nights - but the person in the room beside me, didn't even hear and didn't notice. I think we are often more aware and on edge about what's going on for us, than others are.

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