FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

3,491 - 3,500 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @Nala2022 thank you for checking in.

Being jumpy and on edge like that feels silly. I was out walking my dog the other morning, it's 6.45 am and a car drove past me with a big dog hanging out the window, it started barking. It started me that much, my heart leapt and my body got tingly and I almost had a panic attack in the street. I got teary because it's so silly and why am I like this sometimes...and all of those thoughts.

I hope tomorrow goes more smoothly than my worries are predicting, too.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That doesn’t sound silly at all. It sounds like your nervous system is on high alert, so hearing unexpected noises can make anyone jump or get their heart racing.

I’m sorry it left you feeling teary and questioning yourself. These moments can feel so frustrating, especially when you wish things were easier.

I hope tomorrow brings some gentler moments for you, and that the catch up with your friend feels more comfortable once you’re in it @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @Nala2022

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury , hope today finds you well.

Having a catch up with a friend tomorrow sounds good. I hear it can cause some anxiety. I wonder if you wanted to limit the time so you have an out if you need it?

As for the post about, while you are working, I guess it's good to allow yourself to have a break from the pressure of all the work involved with teaching. I hear it's a lot from all the teacher members here.

Enjoy your RDO tomorrow!

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have been okay @NightFury - I am glad we get to chat tonight! How are you? 💛

Oh goodness, that must feel so overwhelming for you. I can feel the same sometimes and it's always a sign that I am carrying a lot. I wonder what you might be carrying that could be put down for a bit?

Of course, and invisible 'illness' is often treated so much different to an overt ailment, for example, which can be so tough. I think your experiences truly are valid and genuinely hard and that you're exploring them with such honesty and openness. So, I also believe that the right people will resonate and understand this, and be willing to support fully - like your new therapist!

I hope your next session goes well. I look forward to hearing about it. 🥰

YAY! What is landing with you the most from the podcast?

Aww, I completely understand these thoughts and feelings!! Is there any part of you that knows everything will be okay, even if it is a little clunky at first? I have had this experience many times and I think it's so normal to navigate a bit of awkwardness after some time apart! Remember, she loves you for you. 🫶

Oh, that must have been so, so nice. What was it like to have a spontaneous meet up that felt natural and enjoyable?

I am so glad your student advisor truly understands and is already being supportive. I can't help but notice that this is the second new support in your life to quite quickly understand you. 🤩

I am sorry to hear they didn't feel right... I hope you come across one that jumps out at you. When you do come back to writing and tarot, please let me know. ✨

Yes, following curiosity can be so soul-nourishing! And painting outside of the lines is a perfect analogy. Where can you 'paint outside the lines' this week?

PS: Maybe you can play with this idea of stiffness and awkwardness? Stiff and awkward are allowed, in fact, they can even be embraced. 💁🏻‍♀️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm sorry @AuntGlow I was asleep when this came through.

I don't feel like I can put anything down at the moment. I feel like all the things are important and I have to do them all or I'm a failure.

I hope my next appointment goes well too. It feels like it's a long way away and my brain is ruminating on what might come up and what questions she might ask me and what to share and talk about. Which I think probably maked the wait feel longer.

The sensory processing episode was interesting, AuntGlow. I could resonate with it, and see some of my own experiences in it.

We shall have to see how today goes. I'll keep you posted. Meeting up with my TA friend felt good. It felt...a little distant at first, like we both had so much to talk about, but didn't know what to start with.

The student advisor is only part of my life for seven/eight weeks. We get a new one with each course we do. So, it's only a temporary thing. But it's nice to feel like someone has my back and gets it.

Let me think about where I can paint outside the lines this week.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That is quite alright! @NightFury 🫶

I understand this feeling and I can hear how important your success is to you right now. You are someone who gives everything your all and it is truly admirable. If things can't be put down... could a different approach be taken?

I hear you, and I completely get how hard the wait between appointments can be. Could you journal in between your sessions? I find this helps me to gain clarity/process, and also allows me to be more intentional during my appointments.

Sensory processing, yes! What do you notice about the way you sensorily process?
How did today go? 😍

I hope the next 7 or so weeks with her, helps you to feel more confident and affirmed in your own unique ways of studying/learning.

No rush, always invitations for reflection, so no pressure. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think a different approach can be taken with a few things @AuntGlow I was talking to my friend today about Uni and how I have supports now, but don't really use them. I think maybe it's okay for me to use them.

I would like to journal more, as a way to try and feel more connected to myself, so that's a good suggestion for in between appointments.

Today went well. I didn't really need to be worried. We walked the beach and chatted for two hours, then went to lunch and chatted some more. It was so good to catch up, and to talk to her about some of the things that have been on my mind.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening @NightFury 💛

I think utilising your supports is a wonderful way to approach all that you have going on. What could that look right now?

Let me know how it goes. I am sure it will help you to process and feel more in flow. ✨

Aww yay! I am so, so glad to hear this. Can I remind you of this moment if you're worried at any point again? I am sensing that this connection is one you can really trust to withstand any distance or discomfort - which is how you know it's an aligned one. 😍

How are you tonight? How has work been?

Oh, and do you have your monthly adventure planned?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Morning @AuntGlow

Utilising my supports could look like using my assignment extensions, which are there to try and take pressure off. It could look like reaching out when I need to. Not simply doing it all myself.

You can remind me of that moment anytime you think I need it. She is an amazing person. She kept apologising for talking too much and I was like..."go for it. I want to hear it." It eased my anxiety.

Work has been okay. I made a mistake on my timesheets and have been getting paid an hour extra. Oops. I was putting in my hours as I was advised by my supervisor, and her calculations had me 10 minutes out each day. My boss didn't know how he didn't pick it up earlier because he checks over the timesheets and approves them.

My monthly adventure - I didn't really know what to do this month, and so my monthly adventure was to have my niece for the first time overnight. That was a big thing for me with my OCD brain. Next month, I'm going to an event run by a group specifically for ladies who want connection and friendship. We are going to a distillery, doing a ghost tour and having a meal.

It's my niece's birthday today. She turns 3!

As for how I am? I feel pretty worn down at the moment.

3,491 - 3,500 of 3,920