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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

3 already??? @NightFury It's a very cute age. Are you doing anything for her bday?

I hope you dont wear yourself out too much. I know you are doing a lot.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah @tyme she's 3 already. Time goes so quickly.

I went over to my brother's last night and gave her a present for her birthday. She's having a birthday party on Saturday.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How'd the bday for your niece go? @NightFury

What presents do people get for a 3 year old? Buying pressies is so hard nowadays

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We had a party for her yesterday @tyme it was awkward. My family don't really get along with my brother's wife and her family. Everyone is so sensitive and reactive to the smallest of things around each other.

My niece had a good time though.

She got lots of toys.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Awkies @NightFury !

That would've been ergh... I have goosebumps just thinking about it. Worst thing ever!

How'd you manage to stay there?

But I'm glad your neice had a good time. What cake did she have? I always love the cakes.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I did a lot of pacing while I was there @tyme and I felt constantly on edge and assessing the situation. I have a thing...where my brain sees distance and other people angry and thinks that it's my fault, or they're angry at me. It's hard to be around.

She had a vanilla cake with jam in the middle and pink icing...very pink icing. It even tasted pink. Lol..

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How difficult. So did both sides of the family go to the party at the same time? @NightFury - if so, no wonder it was so awkward. I wouldn't've coped!

Also, what you are doing tomorrow? Since you had an RDO last week (right?), does that mean you are working tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Both sides were there at the same time @tyme my brother's wife's Mum elbowed/pushed my Dad out of a photo with my niece at one stage. I stayed, but kinda had a bad night last night. Tears, no sleep.

I work tomorrow. I have a busy day and an hours drive to and from our other clinic.

What have you been up to this weekend?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury 💛

I really like this intention of reaching out to your supports when you need to. It's such a beautiful act of self-compassion and love.

Awww, it sounds like she has some brain gremlins too!! How kind of you both to meet each other with vulnerability and understanding.

oops! I am terrible at admin 😂 - it seems like you did everything as you were instructed though, these things can happen so easily, so I hope you're being kind to yourself. 🫶

Yes, that would have been big for you! How did it go? 🤩

Oh my goodness - this is amazing!! I am so, so happy to hear this and I am very proud of you for putting yourself out there. When will you be going?

Happy birthday to your niece 🥹 3 already! What did you do to celebrate?

What does warn down Nightfury need right now?

PS: I don't know if I told you this already, but Nightfury sounds like a superhero name. 😎

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

My Scottish friend has CPTSD @AuntGlow so she has brain gremlins too and we both can kind of talk to each other about the havok our brain gremlins cause.

I had to double check that I wasn't in trouble, but after that, I was able to let it go.

Having my niece overnight was hectic. It was actually lovely to have her sleep over, but by Saturday afternoon, I was struggling with sensory overwhelm, exhaustion and just wanting/needing my own space. It made me feel like a horrible Aunty.

The event isn't until the 27th of June and thank you for saying that you're proud of me.

We did gifts and family on Wednesday - her actual birthday. Then on Saturday we had a birthday BBQ at her home. It was traditional BBQ meat and salads, followed by birthday cake.

I don't know what worn down Nightfury needs. Maybe to reduce the demand a little?

You haven't told me that before. It's not really a username I connect with. I don't really like it, but I had to choose something and at the time, changing my username felt overwhelming.

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