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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've just gotten into bed. @Chasingsunsets so you've just caught me.

I normally go to bed any time between 8 pm and 9.30 pm. I know it's super early for an adult, but I don't sleep through the night. When the peer support workers were here, I'd stay up until 10 because talking to them helped me to calm the anxiety and feel held. But now...nights are harder.

I wake every couple of hours. But I'm going to bed that early most nights, not because I'm tired but because I'm bored, or feeling really anxious or heavy. And I don't know what to do with all of those big feelings so I take my sleep stuff and go to bed.

She wants me to stay up until I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open, then go to bed. That might be midnight, but the build up of tiredness will eventually mean that I get to that point of tiredness earlier in the night.

I didn't light the fire tonight.

My friend and I are planning a walk along the beach, followed by coffee and lunch. We talk a lot too.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better and I'm sorry to hear your blood tests weren't what you wanted.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Just writing a response but incase I don’t catch you @NightFury, have a good night and hope you get a good sleep 🙏

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ah I see @NightFury well it makes sense you go to bed early since you wake up so early but hearing you don’t actually sleep through the night and good to bed early is escaping your heaviness, which I really understand personally. Sorry that’s how you are feeling.

I hear you with the psws. I am thinking of writing in some feedback myself to whoever made these changes (which wasn’t the psws, as far as I believe ). Just have to get some energy behind me first, but I have a lot of important points I would like to share with them about these changes. I am interested, have how are you finding these changes ? Have you thought about sharing your feedback?


ahh I see no spider interactions tonight 🙉🙈, not as cool as last night?

Your catchup sounds great! Let me know how it goes. Sounds like lots of fun 🙏

Hmm yes the blood tests. It’s complicated as I have an autoimmune thing going on so it can be a catch 22 with a couple of things so surgery means stress on the body (naturally) and a change and then the AI doesn’t always cope well with changes like that but the meds for the AI also reduce immunity so it’s all a (mice on a wheel) type of deal if that makes sense (sorry if I lost you here, all good if I have 🫶). It can be exhausting, pair that with MH stuff too 😜. And my night just got worse seen Indi has cracked one of her nails in a few spots 🤯🥺

but enough about me 😊

I hope you have a good night 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

One sad dog over here @NightFury, she’s fine but cracked nails we have only had about 57 of them lol. This one isn’t great cracked in couple of spots which makes it a bit harder. But it’s wrapped, medicine applied and has a fun sock on it, for the cherry on the top

lol 🐸

@MissGremlin

 

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Chasingsunsets awwww poor sweet Indi. Sending her lots of hugs ❤️.

Haha loving the sock 😂.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Haha looks better in colour hehe @MissGremlin @NightFury 🐸

 

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Chasingsunsets hehe indeed it does.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Are you enjoying the role? Do you think this is a role you can continue doing for a while @NightFury ?

I'm not very busy tomorrow. It's mothers' day. I'm not doing anything for it... just chilling? Are you doing anything tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am enjoying it, and I hope it's something I can stick at for a while. @tyme it's a bit of a strain financially, but also...I am kind of impulsive with my spending, so there are things I can work on to improve that.

I'm not doing anything tomorrow. I have a list of jobs that I'd like to do; clean out the inside of the car, clean out and organise the spare room, vacuum and wash the floors, study. My parents are away in their caravan, so we're not really doing Mother's Day.

I'm glad you have tomorrow to just chill for a bit. It sounds like you've been busy and could do with some down time.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hope your dogga is feeling better today @Chasingsunsets

I don't want to talk about the forum changes in PSW hours and availability. I'm sorry, it's not you. I just find it triggers strong emotions.

Sorry to hear that things have been stressful on your body. I hope that improves for you and your body starts to regulate and things calm down. Our physical health does have an impact on our mental health - it's an extra load to carry.

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