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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Evening @NightFury 🙏, how’s your evening? How’s miss Luna?🐶
Talking about a scary thing and caught off guard I had a caterpillar on my arm when I came to chill on the couch, the remote went flying I thought it might have been a spider lol. He’s been relocated outside. Got some pics for ya! (He didn’t have pretty colours but he had cool white eyes 😊)

 

 

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's such a little caterpillar.

It's cold here this evening @Chasingsunsets I lit the wood heater when I got home. I had to go into the shed to get sticks. Most of the time I won't go into the shed when it's dark, because it's full of spiders. Tonight, I made an exception and what happened?

I picked up an arm load of sticks and a huge big black spider came crawling out of it. The sticks and the spider went flying and the f word also flew out of my mouth.

I cooked beef burgers, sweet potato chips, corn on the cob and steamed brussel sprouts for dinner and I've washed up. I'm contemplating going to bed.

My therapist wants me to try and going to bed later, to try and reset my sleep routine. But...I don't know. It's actually hard.

Luna is good. A little limpy at times, the colder weather disagrees with her arthritis.

How are things over there?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury lovely to hear from you ☺️

Ooohhh the fire!!! Yesssss so good!!! Now you need the marshmallows haha. Oh you are brave versing the spiders!! I would have been the same if I had one near me or on me 😂. I have actually been taking notice of spiders recently, I didn’t realise I had my flash on my phone and I took the photo and the spider jumped out into its web that was scary enough hahah.

In the mornings if your not careful in the forest you can walk into them if you aren’t careful 😂, no thanks lol

Dinner sounds lovely!! And Brussel sprouts! Nice haven’t had them in awhile!

What’s your sleep routine aim, I can definitely appreciate that changing a sleep routine can be difficult!! I don’t really have a routine 🙈. But I can definitely see so many benefits to a good routine for sure. Part of the reason I don’t have a routine is due to shift work but that’s ok some benefits of shift work too but maybe not the sleep routine lol.

I was recently recommended sups for Indi since she is getting older I am wondering if I’m allowed to mention them here?

Things over here are okay, thanks for asking 🙏 had to go back to the hospital today post surgery as I had been getting fevers so another blood test and more antis so hopefully just a small speed bump!! Missed walking for two days which is unheard of for me. today I went to the park with indi but just sat down and threw the ball to her it was so nice to be out in nature!

whats on for your week?

Ps I read you might head off to sleep definitely don’t want to keep you up 🙏

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury !

Thanks for the update! Sounds like the little one really took a toll on you! That's hectic. I hope things improve for you. Please don't think you're a failure. You do what works for you. There are times I also have enough of the kids and both you and I are in a good place because we can hand them back.

As for my assignment... what a flop! I haven't touched them at all. I've been so bogged down with stuff to do that I havent even opened the doc to be honest. I'm not sure I have time this weekend, but thanks for the reminder. I'll get to it as soon as i can!

I'm glad you feel a whole lot more supported in this unit. It sounds like a really interesting unit. i reckon I'd like that course too.

How's work going for you?

@Chasingsunsets , how cute it the little caterpillar!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

haha @tyme cute once I knew what it was 😂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's a caterpillar... right @Chasingsunsets ?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah @tyme 😂. But it caught me by surprise I had just sat to lay on the couch and I felt something on my bicep and threw the remote lol. Thought it was a spider 😂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @Chasingsunsets

My sleep routine aim...or the therapist's sleep routine aim for me is to go to bed later (when I'm actually at the point of struggling to keep my eyes open) instead of as a strategy for managing my emotions that tend to flood in of a night (not because I'm tired), and get up when my alarm goes off at 5 am. I will be losing sleep, but I will be tireder of a night and that point of being unable to keep my eyes open will happen sooner.

I'm glad that things have been okay for you. I hope the antibiotics kick in soon and you can start to feel better.

My plan for the weekend consists of study, housework, and an RDO on Monday where I will be catching up with a friend I haven't seen since early December.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like you've been busy @tyme and will continue to be busy over the weekend.

Honestly, I do feel a little like a failure of an Aunty. And a horrible person.

Work is going well. I don't know if you saw, but I passed my three month probation review last week. So I'm no longer on probation. I am a member of the team. It's a pretty complex job, and people's stories and experiences are pretty hard to hold sometimes.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury, sorry my replies take forever to write like yesterday I missed ya! Hope you are still awake now but all good if you’re not, yay for the weekend right 😊

Hows that fire going?

I see, what time would you normally like to head to bed and what time is her plan with you?

less hours is rough though lol. You wake up so early too ☺️

feeling better which is great not sure antibiotics can work that quick however the blood tests have declared themselves and I’m not too happy with the results but I guess you get that.

Oh a long weekend how good!! Your catchup with your friend sounds good too, what fun are you planning? 😀

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