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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

There was an episode on sensory processing and I was like...I can absolutely relate @Jynx and there was an episode about neurodivergence and the little t's or everyday traumas that neurodivergent people experience.

And how when you combine challenges like that things can be really hard for neurodivergent people. Maybe it explains why I am so tired at the end of each and every day. Why I wake up tired each and every morning no matter how much sleep I get and how it's like...I burn out every single night.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The world is so loud and bright and pointy hey @NightFury 😬😪

It can be kinda confronting, but in a validating sorta way to go delving into this stuff hey.

Like...the dishes aren't difficult because I'm lazy, they're difficult because the task offers no dopamine, is full of sensory ick (dirty sink water, blech... but also gloves, all sticky and sweaty and enclosed... no winning!), and is literally a daily occurrence that quickly builds up and gets overwhelming if I haven't the energy to do them.

So yes, makes sense as to the always tired!

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

@tyme @AuntGlow @Jynx do you guys know of any mood tracking aps?


I used to have my mood diary on paper. So I don't know any apps. I wonder if Apple have it?

Also, I haven't even told you, I stayed up to complete my assignment last Sunday and I finished it! I also handed it in and got it back already. I didn't look at the comments or marks though, but I know I passed 🙂

I have my next assignment, but I don't envisage I will finish this one by Sunday. My brain isn't braining at the end of the week lol.

What about you? Do you have another assignment?

Thank you so much for keeping me accountable. I wouldn't've done it without you - honestly.

Hope you are okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm proud of you for getting your assignment in an submitted @tyme well done.

You have another assignment to do? Wow they're due so close together.

We are still waiting for our marks. The next unit starts next week, so it's a bit of an in between week. So, I don't have uni work to do this weekend.

But I do have an almost three year old to chase around. She's having a last minute sleep over, and I have her all day tomorrow. I don't know how parents do it every day. It's so hard to keep up with them.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes. Another one. I hope to complete it by maybe next week @NightFury ? Not sure though. Yeah. It's pretty much self paced within the pace of 3 years. I'm at the end of the three years soon so that's why I needed your help to get going! I think I have 2 left.

How are you going today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You're so close to finishing @tyme!

I had my neice stay over last night and she's still here. We went to the park, and then to the Saturday market, we stopped by a cafe and had donuts, then we went to the supermarket.

I am soso tired and she's only little so she doesn't give you any space. She's been chatting and singing and playing all day. She's had the TV on and her iPad going in the background and it's been a bit of sensory overload for me.

I've spent the afternoon feeling really overwhelmed and frazzled and teary because I am a terrible aunt.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hear you! Kids are draining! @NightFury

I've got my three niblings here and it's not easy. Do your niece have an afternoon nap?

Is she staying with you tonight?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You have three little people with you tonight? @tyme I feel like a horrible person for struggling with taking care of one for 24 hoursish.

She doesn't have an afternoon nap any more. She has issues with sleep, and so, they stopped giving her an afternoon nap to try and help her sleep better of a night.

My brother has just picked her up, so she's gone home tonight.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have one with me who stays over every weekend. I had the other two, and now just the one @NightFury

Don't feel bad about it. It's hard having to mind a kid for 24 hrs, esp when you are used to your own space.

I reckon if I had my own kids, I'd get in to the routine of it because i'd have no choice. But because I don't have my own kids, I'd find it hard too.

When I have the three kids, I take them to the shops, library, out for lunch, park and then come home.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How is that assignment going, @tyme? I've been meaning to check in on you.

My next Unit starts next week. It's Recovery Oriented Practice and I'm already feeling so much more supported. It feels more positive already

Maybe just a bit of an update if anyone cares...

I had my niece over the weekend and things kind of spiralled and I got stuck in OCD for three days.

I've been trying some things with my sleep and it's exceptionally hard. Reducing my meds, to see what my natural sleep pattern is. Trying to get into a more natural sleep pattern and following my ERP ladder @AuntGlow of a night - trying to incorporate it into a night time routine.

I woke up this morning and I felt horrible. Things have been heavy. I took Luna for a walk this morning and a loud car drove past me and made me jump out of my skin. And it happened again while I went out to get my lunch today. It's like my jump reflex is wound right up tight like a Jack in a Box. I've felt that anxious that I physically feel sick throughout parts of the day and my brain is foggy and tired.

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