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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm not technically on the forums, but I had to come here and tell you that I'm working on it now! I'm soooo behind @NightFury

Well done to you! I might need the Monday that you offered!

Did you completely finish and hand it in?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well done @tyme keep at it and you'll get there.

I did completely finish and hand it in. I spent five hours on it, and I just wanted to get it done. I have an RDO today, and I didn't want it hanging over my head. I need some down time.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme @AuntGlow @Jynx do you guys know of any mood tracking aps?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Hiya lovely! Been a minnit haha.

Alas not off the top of my head, you might be able to use something like a period tracking app though, I think they're built in? Or search around for some tips on Reddit or something for some ideas? I think maybe searching for bipolar ones could be helpful because I imagine they're probably pretty detailed.

Good luck on the hunt! Hope you've been travelling along okay 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It has been a minnit @Jynx

Things haven't been fantastic over here. Sleep has been hard. I've had lots of anxiety And lots to process and think about. Exhaustion levels are high and kinda debilitating at the moment.

I've just needed some space.

I hope things have been okay over there?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury sounds like things have been very heavy for you hun, totally okay to need to step back and focus inward. Lack of sleep especially will send you spinning hey, makes everything harder.

Yeah business as usual on my end, I get the odd sleepless night my own self. Much easier to cope with than the multiple in a row, for sure.

Any highlights or glimmers for you of late, hun? 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I guess things have been heavy @Jynx and I've found myself easily irritable with others and I don't want to be that person, so it's been a little bit of self-imposed space too.

But there have been glimmers.

I had my first face to face psychology appointment on Friday and I left feeling hopeful and validated. It was like...an intake appointment, a get to know you and you get to know me, kind of deal. And half way through she went..."so, here's the thing...this, this and this and your challenges around sleep all line up with neurodivergence...has anyone suggested that?" And I was like..."yes! But...the psychiatrist who did my diagnostic interview thingy suggested that it wasn't a good idea to explore it because of my anxiety symptoms." And I was honest that it didn't make sense to me because anxiety could be a result of undiagnosed neurodivergence and this psychologist was like..."exactly."

And today I had my three month probation review meeting and I passed. I'm no longer on probation at work. I had worked myself up into an anxious tizzy and had convinced myself I was going to fail and get fired, so it was nice to hear the positive instead.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury totally fair, a compassionate decision, which isn't always an easy one to make.

Oh that's cool! How validating haha, so are you going to explore neurodivergence as a possibility more in-depth now?

omg congrats!! That's amazing news! And goes to prove you are plenty capable and valued in this new job. Very happy for you 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I would like to explore it as a possibility, more in depth now @Jynx she gave me a podcast to listen to called The Neurodivergent Woman, so I've been working my way through the episodes and learning.

And thank you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh cool @NightFury I haven't heard of that one. Anything standing out or feel super resonatey so far?

You're welcome 😊💜

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