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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I took Luna for a walk after work today and crossed paths with a lady and a young teenage boy. They saw us and smiled, then the boy started talking about a dog, so I said "hello" and the lady said, "hey, mate." We both had a smile.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I've been thinking of you Monday and Tuesday so I got a LITTLE bit done of my assignment.

DId I say I'd finish the whole assignment or only that part??? Argh... it's a drainer but if I promised the whole thing, then I've gotta do the whole thing!!!

I know you said you can't get to yours until the weekend. That's totally okay.

It's so good to be accountable for our assignments, eh?

I really need to finish it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm pretty sure you said you'd make yours due on Sunday too @tyme but...I've gotten an extension until Monday, so it's only fair that you get an extra day too.

I worked from home yesterday. I ended up having a big meltdown/panic attack on Monday night and I woke up on Tuesday feeling pretty terrible and exhausted. So, I worked from home and got to do a little of my assignment in the process.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oooo! So sorry to hear about how hard things have been! Did something particular happen for you to have that meltdown? It's only natural you were exhausted the next day.

Ok... I'll complete the assignment. At least I did a little.. it's a start. And same to you! Maybe the day hat home was a blessing in disguise?

WE CAN do this! @NightFury

Thanks so much for your help.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think it was many things @tyme I was exhausted and had been awake since 4 am, I had a busy day at work, I had a call with my uni online facilitator after making a complaint about her lack of support and I shut down, I couldn't find the words, I got the results of my last assignment and only scored a credit in total and only a pass on a couple of the criteria and I found out that two of my work colleagues that I feel most connected to, are leaving.

We both did a little and a little is a start. Sometimes starting is the hardest part. So maybe we've done the hardest part?

I'm not sure I'm helping you much, tyme.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Awww! That's so so so hard! No wonder you were struggling! I'm sorry to hear that you didn't feel supported by the facilitator. I've always had amazing course facilitators. To be honest, well done for speaking up. That takes a lot of courage. Was she open to feedback?

How do you feel now that you reflect on it? Of course, if it's still raw, please don't go back there if you aren't ready.

I hear you. Hugs to you.

And yes, starting the assignment is the hard part. And everytime it gets a little more demanding I put it away. But when I speak to you, then it makes me go back to the assignment with fresh eyes. That helps.

Thank you @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have certain supports outlined in my access plan and one of those is regular contact with my online facilitator. She wasn't even answering my emails. I rang my success advisor wanting to give up Uni entirely and she suggested we try to contact student access and put in a complaint first. She suspected I was feeling worn down because I wasn't receiving the support I needed.

She didn't say anything about it @tyme she just went on as if nothing had happened and wanted to discuss this assessment coming up.

I don't know how I feel about it. I just...this assessment is theast one of this unit and I want to get it finished. Then, I can put it behind me.

My marks in my last assignment, I accept them for what they are...and a pass is a pass. And given that I had four meltdowns over the assignment, no support and almost threw in the towel, I think it's okay to just let it be what it is.

Then, I'm glad I can help. I think it makes a difference to have someone else in our corner cheering us on and making it feel like it's possible. Kind of like...body doubling from a distance...maybe?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh! That makes sense. Makes things so much harder. But honestly, well done for reaching out. I hope the facilitator will be more careful. Does your uni have a feedback thing at the end of the course?

If this is one of the last assignments, then you gotta do it! You're nearly nearly there! To be honest, as long as you get a pass, who's going to look back at your transcripts?

DId you know I've lost all my certificates and transcripts and everything? I've got no idea where any of my uni stuff is! @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's the last assignment for this unit @tyme but not for my Masters. I still have like...6 units to go, I think. I'm half way through after this one.

They do have a feedback thing and I will give my feedback. This unit has been soso hard for me.

Certificates are just pieces of paper; they don't mean a lot and I'm sure of you needed them, you would be able to get copies somehow? I still have mine, but then I still have my grade 10 high school report. Lol.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hahahah @NightFury . I don't know where any of my credentials and qualifications are anymore... it's just not worth the hassle trying to find them! I think most of my stuff is still in Sydney from 16 years ago lol. Under the stairs in a box. I don't even have my birth certificate or anything. But at least I have a passport.

As for my assignment, I came here on the forums to let you know that I've got you front and centre in my head so i WILL get to my assignment TODAY!

I just needed to come here to tell you! I started off well at the beginning of the week, but haven't touched it since!

Thanks for making me accountable! I'm making you accountable for yours too.

As fo your unit being so hard, I can relate to that. I had to do this statistics unit once and I just couldn't understand it. I ended up doing it twice... it was HARD! @NightFury

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