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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I haven't spoken to the doctors about the nightmares @tyme

I've been doing an OCD course through Mindspot and have been working on my harm OCD and doing some ERP. And the nightmares are a part of what comes up for me with harm OCD. I poked the beast, so to speak.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Fair enough. Is it something you can raise in your 1:1 sessions with Mindspot? @NightFury Also, do you feel able to tackle these at the moment?

I just want to acknowledge the strength you are showing my being so proactive about your recovery. Good on you. I know it's not easy and making change is not easy either.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I wasn't going to, because I don't like talking about how my Harm OCD presents. @tyme this course is the first time I've spoken about it or shared it with anyone. The therapist said to let her know if they continue because it may mean we need to stop pushing with ERP, and she may need to consult with her supervisor as to how to proceed. It made mr feel super...complex.

I'm not continuing with the course. I got in to see an in-person psychologist. My appointment is next month, I just...I need a break. I feel very...worn down with it all at the moment.

Thank you for saying so. ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

But at least you are aware of these things now.

Remember, in the past when you first connected on the forums, even the idea of meds was so foreign?

You've come a long long way in being so proactive and reaching.

In my recovery, what I noticed is that it wasn't necessarily that I was getting 'worse', but that I was more away and in tune with what was going on for me. I therefore had the words to explain. Where as in the past, I was such a mess that I couldn't even artilculate what was going on.

So please don't feel you are going backwards. @NightFury

Just keep going.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know how to explain it @tyme I don't feel like it's the right treatment for me. I...I don't just have an OCD diagnosis. I also have GAD and depression and higly likely Autism/ADHD and most likely CPTSD too. And it's all just wound up in this tight knot of symptoms and I don't know that working at one without working on them all is actually the right approach. It's been really triggering and really hard.

But I tried it.

Meds are still hard for me, but I keep trying with them too.

I will keep going. Thank you for reminding me that I haven't necessarily gone backwards.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I guess you are doing what you can in being proactive. Some things might work now, and others won't, but at least you can say you've given it a go.

Are you off to work tomorrow? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

Yes, I'm off to work tomorrow. I have a five day week this week and an assignment due next Sunday. So, it'll be a busy week.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Since you have an assignment due next Sunday, I'll make mine due next Sunday too. I've got 3/4 to go. I really need to get it going or my course expires. @NightFury

Let's keep each other accountable with these assignments! We CAN do it!

Today, I took Ruby for a walk and said hello to 3 people. I felt good about it 🙂

Is your assignment a hard one?

Mine's not hard, but it's boring.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I write 380 words of my 2000 word assignment today @tyme

Keeping each other accountable sounds like a good idea. The only problem is, I will only be able to work on it next Saturday and Sunday. I really struggle after work and need down time.

My assignment is a research proposal. We had to pick a topic relevant to our current work. I chose to look at the factors that influence implementation fidelity regarding behaviour support plans, and how implementation fidelity impacts therapeutic outcomes.

I thought about saying hello to someone today but did not find the words. So, you my friend, are much braver than I am.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Saying hello to strangers is NOT easy at all. I try and not think about it too much and when I see a person, I just quickly say hello and smile. To be far, I'm not THAT brave. I walked a circuit a few times and I was walking the opposite direction to this guy that I said hello to 2 times already.... so I changed my circuit so that I didn't have to see him and talk to him again...

Then on the other circuit, I met a lady so I said hello to her... but all up, I said hello to strangers 4 times today lol.

@NightFury And no, I don't like doing it, but I guess it's part of my social experiment, right?

As for this assignment, is sounds so similar to the last one. Didn't you have to analyse the impact of a program as well?

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