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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am very sore @tyme

I haven't been to the doctor. I thought about it, but didn't.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Are you going to go tomorrow @NightFury ?

It's a worry.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It is a worry. I was worried, particularly because it was impacting my breathing.

It's not spasming like that any more though @tyme so I'm less worried.

I will go today if it doesn't settle or ease a bit.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury so much i could and want to say, having just read the last week lol. But also so much my brain is forgetting and also dont want to overwhelm you either!

Take this post slow; no pressure to read or reply. 🥰

Firstly - thinking of you with the weekend ahead. 🤗🤗

Secondly - muscle spasms. Ouch! Glad the spasms have ceased and hope the strain relaxes and rests too to reduce pain soon.

Thirdly - client at work. I know it can be hard to *not* take it personally - for anyone! Even an experienced person it would be natural to, let alone add on any forms of rejection-sensitivity proneness (not sure if this is a thing for you? But i know its common with MH and anxiety as an additional stressor).

I'm totally with @AuntGlow here that it could very much be a reflection of the client and their past experiences.

Personally, if i was referred to a generic service (not one specific to my very atypical MH presentation) i would be really hesitent to be placed with an inexperienced person -- because *I am atypical and complex and severe* and really hard to help 🤣😅. But having said that, sometimes having a *new* person is actually better because the training is *more recent* and more up to date *and* the worker is less likely to be jaded by the workplace yet 🤣. So it goes both ways for me 😅.

I had an intake assessment in Jan with a service and there was a new-start sitting in. I liked her A LOT more than the person who was the assigned intake clinician. He didnt get me. I think she did. But of course i didnt get to choose or say anything about who my follow-up person was. I would have chosen her if asked.

When i was looking for a counsellor last year, i would not have considered any new-grads unless they had a lived experience and/or special interest in my specific areas. But then again.. i also wasnt interested in experienced ones that didnt come with a very good recommendation either lol. Because of my past experiences and knowing im a complex case. But its not that *any* of those new grads or "generalists" werent capable of their roles - I'm sure they are 😊. Its that i knew i'm a mess of a case 😅 and only willing to expend the energy of trying out someone if i have confidence they can meet what i need.

This is to say -- soo many reasons why they may have felt overwhelmed and wanting an experienced person.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The muscle spasms were actually the qprst pain I've ever had. @AlwaysMyself and I probably should have seen a doctor. @tyme it was scary, I couldn't move without my whole core going into a spasm, if I moved and it happened then I couldn't breathe or talk. It was a lot.

Thank fully now, it's just muscle soreness and I am less worried and writing it off as just something that happened.

Distance has helped me to see that the client at work - there were many reasons and factors at play and not many of them have anything to do with me and even less of them are things I can control.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How's your back??? @NightFury

Please see a doc if you need to! Or go to ED!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I can't say that it's great @tyme

But today Luna and I are heading away for a couple of nights and on Monday is the ceremony to spread my Nan and Grandad's ashes on the beach they loved. I'm not going to miss that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

In tears tonight.

I am safe. I just need to...to feel held, like I used to feel here.

My weekend was beautiful. Luna and I went away for a few days. Saturday the weather wasn't great, Sunday morning was brilliant and I went for an impromptu fully clothed swim at the beach, then had a nap and finished a book. By Sunday night, I wanted to go home. I think it was anxiety over what I was expecting to come on Monday.

Monday, when we spread my Nan and Grandad's ashes was beautiful, weird, and emotional. I got home on Monday and settled and then the tears came.

Over the last couple of days, I've felt down and emotional. Getting out of bed to go to work is hard, when I get home I eat and then just want to go to bed and sleep.

I've just had a counselling appointment through the OCD course that I'm doing and she questioned how much I was taking on - do I have capacity to work full time, study, manage my mental health symptoms and work on my OCD? And I felt tears spring to my eyes straight away. I don't know.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Your emotions are still very high @NightFury and they will for a while

Sitting with you ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's probably what's going on @Shaz51 hugs.

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