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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury, yes - I am still here!

This is so understandable and honestly something that every person has resistance to... it's really hard to share when we need support, let alone go about following through. It truly takes a lot of energy and vulnerability, so it's okay to go slow.

Hmm, what do you imagine would feel more helpful? Does anything come to mind?

Gosh, it's a lot, isn't it? I think you are doing so well to be attempting study and work at the same time. I recall you mentioning trauma-informed care as your topic of focus. I am still here to help with any questions you may have around the topic or assessments. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm just feeling pretty low today/tonight. Just wanted to share that.

I don't know what would be more helpful...some one to hear me, because reaching out to them...it took a lot and a lot of sitting in that feeling of overwhelm and I feel like...nothing's been solved and I haven't been heard. Not properly.

I'm so confused tonight. I've edited this post because it was an emotional outburst and I don't know how to put into words what I feel.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Thank you for sharing this, all of your feelings are welcome here. 🥰

I understand this experience and it can be really overwhelming and isolating...

I am just thinking, hypothetically say I handed you a magic wand, what would be the one thing you would change about your studies right now?

(There is method to my madness, the answer will help me to help you!)

I understand this, it sounds like a part of you is feeling quite triggered... is it possible to sit with these feelings and soothe them through a comforting activity tonight? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow...tears.

If I could wave a magic wand...I would make it so that there was no pressure, no time limitations. I could do it at my own pace and step away as I need it, come back to it when I need it and step away safely and securely knowing that that future is still there for me.

I'm going to make a cuppa tea and curl up in a blanket.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I am glad you are connecting to how you feel. Do you notice that things feel a little lighter after a cry?

Ah, even reading this made me feel calm - what an amazing notion. I think so many of us could benefit from this approach (myself included).

I get the sense a GP letter could help here. This doesn't require seeing a psychologist straight away, but it would mean letting your doctor know that things are becoming stressful and that you'd like a certificate to share with your school. This should help with some more leniency around your study. Maybe even knowing you have that support will help in itself? But what do you think?

A cuppa and a blanket sound lovely right now. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I have a sense of my future and that has changed and shifted so much over the last year and a half. I was gifted that sense of my future by someone who is no longer a part of my journey, but it gave me hope.

And It literally saved my life at the time...

Moving back home...I had to reshape it and sit with the fact that the person who gave it to me, isn't going to be a part of it and I would have to figure it out for myself. Studying is me working towards that and I can't lose that future, or that hope. I have to fight for it, but I need a way to fight that's adaptive to where I'm at and what I'm going through.

Studying like this...at this pace, with this pressure isn't helping.

The GP letter already gives me a sense of relief, to be honest.

And the tears are still flowing, but along with it a sense of being able to breathe and wanting to sleep.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

This context is really helpful @NightFury 💛

It would have been so painful for you to lose the person who helped to instil that sense of hope within you... I am so sorry to hear this is how things eventuated, adjusting would have been so hard.

If there's one thing I want you to know, it's that things like hope and support often show up in many different ways... for example, I am more than happy to keep supporting you towards achieving your goals for the future (and I am sure the other peer support workers are too). 🥰

We are definitely not going anywhere! So, maybe that can offer some solace too?

I can tell you really want this, which shows me that even if the progress isn't linear or straightforward, you will get to the end.

I am glad the idea of the GP letter resonates with you, and I am happy to know that things are slowing down. I hope you get some rest; I will be back to chat more tomorrow. ✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @AuntGlow I won't write a long reply, I'm aware you need to go.

Thank you for tonight and can I ask you to do something for me? Can you check in tomorrow, please?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Absolutely! Wouldn't miss it. ☺️

Goodnight @NightFury

💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury, how are you feeling today? 💛✨

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