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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Firstly, good on you for doing this, I know that having these conversations can be really tough. I am sure the idea of a diagnosis and so on is a lot to take in... what are your thoughts about exploring this? I know you're still working towards getting more support, so it would be understandable if you needed some time to think about it further.

Hmm, that isn't an overly helpful response, is it? 😔

Did they share any practical study supports at all/ways to manage the course load?

Also, can you please remind me how many subjects you are doing at the moment? ☺️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury I just wanted to reiterate what @AuntGlow said, we will be here whatever and whenever.

It's also good that you are able to articulate that you are currently not in a space where you want to share things about today. This is an excellent example of boundary setting.

So while respecting those boundaries, I just wanted to say whenever you are ready, or never is fine too, I am here.

Best

Till23

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sorry, I've just finished my appointment with the counsellor.

@AuntGloware you around still? it didn't feel very supportive, no.

I would like get a diagnosis. I'm at the stage where I acknowledge that it might be time to put more supports around me, but it's something that...I'm finding particularly difficult to do. Something is keeping me stuck - stuck between knowing what I have to do and actually doing it.

They sent me through text to voice converters and programs and an appointment that calculates and plans your study time...but it doesn't feel helpful.

I am doing one course at the moment - trauma informed care. Studying part time, working full time. It's an interesting and fast paced way of doing it. We have four units to study - trauma informed care is one of those. Each of those units goes for seven weeks and we have three assignments to complete in those seven weeks and 20 hours of study requirements for each week.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 @AuntGlow I've just talked to the counsellor about boundaries and how difficult they are for me to set.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well @NightFury you set a boundary on here and you defended it. Even if it was because you were doing something else.

How did the counsellor session go in general?

On a completely different subject it looks like your fire door handle is wood surrounding metal.

So the easiest thing to do is glue the two bits of wood together with a PVA wood glue, which you can get from hardware places like Bunnings. Like Titebond Ultimate Wood glue

I think @AuntGlow will be on until 10pm (not sure of course because I don't do the rosters 🤣)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 the boundary I set...not wanting to talk is because my emotions are really close to the surface and if I talk about it...I'll cry.

It went okay. She's very supportive. I don't know how I feel about it at the moment. We talked about boundaries and setting boundaries with my brother, as this is part of what came up today. She changed the subject though because it was getting too difficult to talk about and I have a bit of a challenge now to schedule some self-care time. Little bits here and there. Starting with 10 minute time slots and seeing how that goes.

Re the wood heater - I brought some of that araldite glue stuff that was recommended last night and have applied it. So we'll see how that goes. Tonight, I have layered up because I have no other heating.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes @NightFury so that's a boundary around emotions or emotional overwhelm. It's still a boundary. However, not only is it OK to cry, but it can actually be good to release a lot of emotional tension.

You know that saying "better out than in", well that applies here too, I reckon.

It's good that you weren't pushed too far. You can see now that good counsellors are responsive to you and don't just plough on with their agenda.

I am not the one to be giving advice about self care, but it's good to know that, when it's hard, you can just start with 10-15mins and build up from there.

The Araldite will probably work, it's good for bonding things like metal and plastics, but not as good at bonding absorbent things like wood. Are you "clamping it with rubber bands or something to press it together while it sets?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I don't have anything to clamp it with. I have the bare minimum here. I pretty much just have the basics that I need to get by. So it's holding itself together...

I know, and if it was someone else I would give the same advice. We need to allow our emotions to flow through us and release when we need to release. I just...struggle to follow it myself.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's why I said elastic bands @NightFury because I knew you didn't have much in way of tools. Elastic hair ties would do, or cable ties etc

I know it's so much easier to give advice to others than give it or comply with it ourselves, I am especially terrible at that.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 a hair tie! I have those.

I didn't even think...

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