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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury,

It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot lately, learning new things at work, doing your first consult, sitting in on team meetings, starting the OCD course, having that tough first therapy appointment, and organising extra supports for uni. That’s a huge amount to be navigating all at once.

I really want to acknowledge the effort that’s taken. Even showing up to that first therapy session when it felt difficult is a big deal.

I’m also really glad you shared about feeling emotionally numb. That kind of disconnection can feel unsettling and lonely, like you’re there, but not quite there. It makes sense that it would be hard.

Just know we’re here and you don’t have to sit with it on your own. - Nala2022

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury,

Thanks for the update. I hope things iron out for you and the course of OCD is helpful. Is this a self paced learning sort of course?

What's a forsensic client?

Hope this week ahead is okay for you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hmm...it's not really self paced @tyme they release a lesson a week. You watch the lesson and do the workbook activity and you have a 30 minute therapy appointment a week.

A forensic client is a person with a disability who has been in the criminal justice system.

I hope you're well, tyme and you week goes okay for you too

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ohh! That's really interesting re the program. However, it DOES add to your workload though. It means you have another thing 'due' each week???

Thanks for explaining about the forensic clients. I never knew that, but it makes sense. I just didn't know the term. Do they have to have a disability? Or is it only in your line of work that they do? @NightFury

I hope my week will be okay too. I've got so much work to do!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It doesn't add to my work load, but it adds to the list of stuff that I have to do @tyme you don't have to submit or hand anything in. It's up to you whether you do the activities or not.

In my line of work they do have to have a disability, but can be private paying clients and not NDIS funded. They don't have to have an NDIS plan. It's a specialisation - only those qualified can do forensic behaviour support.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

But with the program, I guess to get the most out of it, it's good to do the activities? @NightFury When you have the 30 min chats, are they based on the content of the module?

Also, that makes a lot of sense re forensic clients. That's when in my psych course, there was an elective on forensic psychology! I didn't know you needed specialisation to do forensic behaviour support. I'm a registered behaviour support practicitioner, and I've only worked with 2 young people in the justice system.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It is good to do them, to get the most out of it, yes @tyme and the 30 minute sessions are structured around the content of the modules.

I remember saying that you did some behaviour support, not often though?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening, lovely! @NightFury

How was your weekend?

And how are 'mistakes' sitting with you today?

Curious to know more about how work has been feeling as well. 🥰

Oh wow, your stay with Luna to say goodbye to Nan and Grandad sounds like it will be rather bittersweet. 🥺 Who will be going with you? And what might you need from us that weekend?

And I understand how tough it can be to connect to the things we enjoy when life is busy. I do wonder if small bouts of blogging and tarot could help to process what you're going through? Especially given that they are intuitive, reflective practices. 🫶

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh, I just saw your message from yesterday! @NightFury

So amazing to hear about your work, it sounds really interesting and engaging.

How did it feel to conduct your first initial consultation? 🤩

Ah, yes - you have just reminded me about Mindspot. How could I forget?! That's a great resource.

It sounds things are slowly shifting and changing, but I understand why vulnerability would still be in the midst, and sometimes, disconnecting is the body's clever way of avoiding emotional flooding.

I wonder if slow reconnection through mindfulness practices would feel safe for you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow I was wondering when you were on. It's good to see you. I hope you're well?

My weekend was okay. I played bowls on Saturday, then spent all of Sunday working on my last assignment for this unit. I have two weeks off now.

When we go away to spread Nan and Grandad's ashes, Luna and I will be on our own for a couple of days, then the family are coming down for the ceremony just for the day.

As for what I need for that weekend? Just someone around to talk to if I need? I need to know that someone's here for me.

To be able to do some blogging would be nice, as would sitting and taking the time to do some tarot. I think, the blogging would help me to process and to work through some things.

Conducting my first initial consultation at work felt good. Because it was my first, I had to do it with supervision, but I feel like I'm ready to do it on my own. It's made me impatient - I don't want to do the learning now, I want to do the work!

I think reconnecting through slow mindfulness practice would feel okay. I don't like feeling disconnected. It's such a horrible feeling.

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