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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's a huge client load @NightFury I gather its fulltime work with the number of clients! You're a special person to even want to do something like this! Helping the most vulnerable. The child within me says thank you! 💜

Is it okay to read some of your thread? I don't have much of an attention span and have a terrible memory, but I do have a few questions, if you feel like answering any.

  • How long have you been on SANE for?
  • Is asking about your gender okay?
  • Do you have any children or fur babies?

Sorry. That's enough questions for one day! Note the bulleted format for the questions? My OCD is very happy! 😁

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It is a huge client load @heartathome but luckily I get to grow it slowly. I'm not expected to start at that. At the moment, I have 4 clients on my books. I've only startef with one. The others will start gradually over the next few weeks.

The child within me often wishes that someone like adult me had helped them. Which is my reason for doing it.

You can read some of my thread if you like, I don't mind. Feel free to tag me over in your neck of the woods to.

I'm happy to answer your questions. I'm fairly open here...

* I've been here for close to twelve months.

* You can ask about my gender. I am female and I am pansexual.

* I don't have children, but I do have a furr baby. Her name is Luna, she's an 8 year old border collie x blue heeler.

 

What about you for those three questions?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh, Luna is beautiful!! 😍 @NightFury I have always loved animals. My last animal was a small, rescue dog that came into the animal rescue place that I worked in. I've had many cats, but Mannie was my favourite. The unit I'm in now is too small for a dog. I'd like to get another cat at some point, but the time has to be right, and it will probably have to come to me.

I've been on here since September last year, I think. I came straight to the social area and was tagged by @Shaz51.

I'm a nearly 65-year-old young woman! I can't believe I'm old, NightFury!! 😁 I have one son in his 30's. He can be a worry because of his mental health and drug abuse.

What state do you live in? Do you live in a city? I feel very blessed to live on the north coast of NSW. I was transferred here (four years ago) after a flood wiped out the house that I was renting about an hour away. My partner of 20 odd years was transferred a couple of hours in the opposite direction because I didn't live with him.

I love music as well and have it on all day and night until I go to bed. I don't watch TV anymore as it's too triggering. I'm sure there's some good shows on there, but I enjoy the music more! My music is mostly old stuff from the 70's, 80's and 90's.

I hope your day is good and you can let go of the day when you get home. I don't know how that's possible. I'm going for a walk now and have a psych appointment at 9.30am. I'll tag you on my thread later. 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

😲You've got 318 pages!!! @NightFury I have 17 😂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @heartathome

Thank you for adding me into your thread. I'll read a bit when I get home from work today.

You worked in animal rescue? That's a pretty awesome job. I would think, also a little sad.

I'm in Tasmania. Apart from one long, hard horrible year in 2023, I have lived here for my entire life. I spent a year in QLD, with the plan of settling and making it home, but for many reasons, it didn't work out and I came home.

I do enjoy music, but don't really listen to it that much. I get overstimulated and dysregulated with lots of noise. I prefer quieter environments. I don't watch a lot of TV and can't watch it without doing something else at the same time.

I'm into creative things - writing, photography, arts and crafts, colouring in but I guess my choice of down time is reading. I love to read.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah. I loved volunteering with the animals @NightFury although I was usually busy doing other things than to spend time with them. The business was mostly for cats, but the owner never said no to any animal! I loved working with the feral cats. Even at six weeks old! They were wild! This place had a 'no *ill' policy which was really beautiful! Every animal was worthy of love. The owner loved animals but wasn't great with customers! Needless to say, I was on the counter a lot. 🙂

Living in Tasmania, hey. Sounds nice but what would I know. I only know one person who lives there but she loves it! Actually, it's the owner of the animal rescue! How weird is that. All I know is that she's rural and lives happily with all her animals! We keep in touch through our posts on Facebook.

I like art and crafts too. I used to create cards and still do a bit of water colour. I tried basket weaving last year. We didn't work out together! 😂 My goal this year is to get out of the unit each day and go for a walk. The coffee is my reward to myself. It's worked for the last four days, anyway! 😁

Nothing wrong with reading or a needing a quiet environment. If I'm being really honest, I think I leave music on all the time, so I don't have to be with my own thoughts. I just seem to need it at the moment and that's okay.

How's your day been? 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury

How was your day today my friend 🧡

@heartathome can you tag me to your thread please 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @Shaz51 and @heartathome

I've had a big couple of days. Today was a work day and it was long and boring one. I watched a five hour training video on regulation.

I'm settling in for an early night. Hope you have both had a good day?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Wow @NightFury watching a long day video would be tiring

Hope you sleep OK tonight my friend 🧡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

An update of sorts, I guess. @Shaz51 @heartathome @AuntGlow @tyme @Jynx @AlwaysMyself

Work has been okay. Last week I did some learning on interoseption and proprioception, reactive and preventative behaviour support strategies, regulation, and parent perspectives. I also conducted my first initial consultation with a client and sat in on a team meeting with a colleague who primarily works with clients who have mental health challenged or forensic clients.

I got a few things organised in terms of my own mental health supports. I started MindSpot's 8 week OCD course and had my first appointment with a therapist through the program. It was a difficult appointment. And I finally got a mental health access plan drawn up for my uni studies. It gives me more supports like extra time on assignments.

Personally, I'm struggling with emotional numbness. I'm disconnected from my feelings at the moment.

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