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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

Yeah, that's probably the case with the NDIS @tyme

The Thriving Kids project makes me a bit worried about the supports that will be available for those kidlets with Autism and ADHD diagnosis.

I'm kind of torn, with what to do tomorrow. I would love to spend a day being lazy and reading, watching TV and having some down time. But, I have an assignment due next weekend and I need to work on that. So, I don't know.


It's a waiting game. I hope it's not another revenue for scams...

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello - yes, I am here! @NightFury

I am well, thank you for asking.

It's lovely to be here with you all. 🥰

Ah, I completely relate to this... what do you think would happen if you allowed yourself some space to make mistakes?

And when you feel yourself falling after a mistake... what do you think you need most in those moments?

I understand what you mean, it sounds like you're holding so, so much throughout the day... has your writing corner been creating a sense of more connection?

That must be really nice and grounding for you. How is Luna?

Also when is your next RDO? Do you have any plans for yourself?

That's okay - you are absolutely allowed to not know. You're already doing so much for yourself just by showing up every day. 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow if I allowed myself some space to make some mistakes, I think...

I think I might lose my job, or that making mistakes will make people dislike me. I think I might get in trouble.

When I feel myself falling after making mistakes, I feel like I need compassion and guidance most in those moments.

The writing corner is something I enjoy, but it's not really creating the kind of connection that I think I'm reaching for.

Luna is good. She doesn't do well in this heat we've been having. She needs a hair cut and a bath but it has to wait until I can find the time.

My next RDO is today. I have an appointment with a GP to try and get this form signed for Uni, so that I can apply for an access plan. I also have a rental inspection. I would really like to give myself some down time today, but I have an assignment due next weekend and I need to finish the research. So, I'm feeling a little frustrated that I can't give myself a day to relax.

Over on the Sunday intention thread - I'm sorry. What came up for me? The theme that came to mind for me out of everything that happened last year was loss. And that caused instant tears and almost a panic attack. It was such a quick reaction and it was overwhelming and I was like..."I can't."

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hear you on this... it can be so hard to hold the idea that we may get into trouble, or fired, or be disliked if we mess up - it's awful. And it often comes from a younger part of ourselves - one that needs lots of love and nurturing from our older parts - so it makes sense that you might need compassion and guidance in those moments. I know we have done this exercise before, but hypothetically, say one of your younger clients were feeling this way - how would you nurture or reassure them? What would you do to help them to 'be okay with the grey'? @NightFury

And who do you imagine you could go to for compassion and guidance when you're needing some external support?

I understand what you mean by the writing corner. Hmm, I wonder what else you could explore in terms of creating the connection you're needing most right now?

Awww poor baby! Does she stay inside with you?

Gah! A very 'adulting' day for you... it's hard, isn't it? I wish we could all enjoy being human more often. You are absolutely allowed to feel frustrated. What does the weekend have in store?

Oh, please don't apologise - if anything, I am sorry! I definitely didn't intend for anyone to feel how you are, and I shifted some of my wording when I realised it was big question. So I really appreciate you letting me know how you felt. Reflecting on last year would have been really hard and noticing loss as your theme makes complete sense.

Grief is complex and you are allowed to feel all that you are feeling.

I am here if you need to talk about any of this further, okay?

Sending you the biggest hug. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

This whole idea of getting into trouble, or people disliking me because of my mistakes is a huge thing for me @AuntGlow it comes up a lot and it comes up strongly.

If it was one of my younger clients, I would try and help them to believe that making mistakes is okay, that it's part of learning and part of growth. Sometimes those mistakes are hard, and the growth is hard but mistakes don't define us or make us any less likeable or any less capable. They make us human.

I don't really have anyone for compassion and guidance at the moment.

Luna is very much an inside dog. She only really goes outside to the toilet, to go for a walk or to play ball. She's a spoilt thing.

Today, I went to my GP and got my Uni forms to apply for an access plan filled out, I had a rental inspection, and I did a couple of hours of study. And then I crashed...with low mood, brain fog, exhaustion and a real low grade headache. It's been a bit overwhelming and I had to go and have a lie down this afternoon.

I haven't taken my meds for a couple of days.

You don't need to apologise. I reacted from an emotional place. It wasn't your fault. It was all me.

Loss came up and then I fought it. There had to be something good in last year, something other than the loss and the pain and the hard times...but my brain just wanted to go with loss as the theme and I think it just...overwhelmed my system.

Hugs, my friend.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Me too. I always resonate with these feelings when you share them. @NightFury 💛

This is a beautiful message. What else do you have to say about mistakes being human? I am curious to know what happens if we give this part some more stage time. ☺️

It must be really tough to feel like you don't have someone you can readily turn to... I always come back to your Scottish friend, because even though she is often busy, I get the sense she has genuine appreciation and care for you?

hehe very spoilt gal!! (as she should be)

I understand, you have done a lot of heady work today, and your mind and body probably need a break - it's okay to honour that.

How has writing in your blog/exploring tarot been feeling?

I hear you, and that suggests that it's still a very big and real feeling for you. Maybe this time is about creating space for more healing? What are your thoughts on this? 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know if I have anything left to say about mistakes and being human @AuntGlow that's all I've got.

She does. She's just busy, off with family and friends visiting from Scotland still and showing them our beautiful piece of the world. She doesn't need me bothering her and interrupting the amazing time she's having.

I haven't written in my blog or done tarot for a while. They are things that kind of stop when life gets busy, unfortunately. I miss them.

I think creating space for more healing is important. On the second weekend in March we are going to a beach on small island in the South to spread my Nan and Grandad's ashes. It was where they lived for many many years. It was where we, as their grand kids, spent every single school holidays and long weekend. It's a tiny coastal town, but it's beautiful. It's one of those places that when you're driving down into it, everything shifts even the smell of the air. I haven't been down there for maybe 20 years. It was where Grandad asked to have his ashes spread. I have booked Luna and I in for a weekend stay in a cabin at the caravan park.

I think that weekend will be really hard, but also really important for healing.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Over here @heartathome!

To answer your question from your reply on Dreamy's thread...

Both? I work with NDIS clients, but that also involves going into schools, community visits and schools to help support clients and schools with behaviours of concern.

I'm just getting a sense of the work load this week. I started with my first client this week.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thanks for the tag @NightFury

I didn't think about 'Battles' being @MissGremlin 's thread. Thanks for moving me on.

I'm glad to see that you have some support on here!! I only get the occasional person who's lost or a moderator on my thread these days. It's where all my poetry is. Nothing fun!

Your work sounds very stressful and emotional!! How many clients will you have at one time? 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think I could have up to 16 clients on my books at one time @heartathome it depends on client funding and whether I am meeting my billing KPI's.

There's not a lot of fun over here either, it's mainly just what's going on for me.

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