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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hahahah. How much mess can one person and one dog make? @NightFury

As much as inspections sound stressful, I reckon they are a good thing because they make you do the cleaning that I so often procrastinate doing!

For me, I have to invite people over to my place.... then I do a rapid clean!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme ahaha, you'd be surprised.

Inspections can be stressful, but to be honest, I go into extreme cleaning mode when I have one and it's kind of unnecessary. My house is never really a mess. But I do jobs at inspection time, like cleaning the oven and then it's done until the next inspection comes around.

I clean my house once a week, so it's never a big mess.

I'll respond to your other question from the Sunday thread here - I'm off tomorrow anyway. I have an RDO.

My inspection is in the morning, followed by a GP appointment, then later in the day I have a telehealth appointment.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh! You hasve RDO's already ! That's cool. @NightFury

When you go to clients' homes, do they pay for petrol and stuff? Or do you have a work vehicle?

I knew this person who was working for an NDIS provider and they kept sending her to all the far far clients, then hardly paid her. She ended up realising they were using her for clients they couldn't be bothered going to.

I see a lot of this sorta stuff happening... where NDIS providers turn it into a business. It breaks my heart.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah, I work 9 hour days, so that I get an RDO once a fortnight @tyme

We get paid for travel at 0.99 cents per kilometre. But there are rules regarding travel now. It's one of the changes the NDIS brought in - they won't fund travel more than 15 minutes from the office. We have two offices that are like...45 minutes distance between them. So depending on what clients you have, you decide what office you need to work from. You can also travel to see a client that's 15 minutes from your home on work from home days, or that are on your way into the office.

I guess it stops that kind of thing. But when I worked as a support worker in QLD it was so so stressful because I was double booked - say for example, I would finish with a client at 4, but was expected to start with my next client at 4 but there was half an hour travel time that wasn't considered. I always felt overwhelmed because I was always late.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's good to hear about the NDIS changes @NightFury . However, does that mean that those living in regional miss out? That's a worry though. Or it can also mean that more peopel are getting pushed to do therapy online which is also a challenge.

Who knows? The way NDIS has been abused by some people upsets me so much, so I don't want to even look into it. Oh, and i'm a register disability practitioner... I don't do much though. I try to avoid it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Those living in rural areas do miss out @tyme well, they can't work with us, so hopefully there are other OT's and speechies and BSP's closer to them. We have a lot of people who do different jobs - we have two counsellors, BSP's, OT's, dieticians, an early childhood pracitioner and we all work together to meet client needs. It's kind of cool.

The NDIS are working on some things to reduce and to deal with some of the ways it's been abused by people. I think, it's a slow and careful process though.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah. I'm sure they have massively overspent their budget and hence the reigning in and cutting of plans @NightFury

Who knows what it will look like later, esp with the Thriving Kids initiative.

Besides the inspection and appt tomorrow, are you just going to be studying?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah, that's probably the case with the NDIS @tyme

The Thriving Kids project makes me a bit worried about the supports that will be available for those kidlets with Autism and ADHD diagnosis.

I'm kind of torn, with what to do tomorrow. I would love to spend a day being lazy and reading, watching TV and having some down time. But, I have an assignment due next weekend and I need to work on that. So, I don't know.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I understand that, it would be a lot of new information to take in @NightFury. You're allowed to feel nervous about making mistakes - this is new terrain for you.

I wonder what it would be like to almost encourage mistake-making, so that you can learn quicker and be compassionate to yourself throughout this period of change? 🤔

These are amazing things to be excited about and it sounds like really aligned work for you.

Could you set one intention for yourself to explore this week?

Yes, I think that is completely okay. I have found that when I am processing big feelings or I am coming off the back of burnout, I sleep a LOT. It's okay to take time to rest and make space for deeper healing.

Perhaps gentle movement could be a good way to cultivate balance? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow is here! Hi!

How are you? I hope you're okay?

I don't know. I talked to tyme last night about how it's hard for me to give myself space to make mistakes. I'm so hard on myself when I do make them. I have super high expectations of myself. It's a lot to hold and then when I inevitably don't live up to them, I fall hard.

I just...I get so tired and so emotional by the end of the day and...I'm still struggling to feel connected here of a night since the changes and it's just easier to sleep. It's such a messy time of the day for me at the moment.

I do get up and take Luna for a walk in the mornings. Sometimes it's not a long walk, but we still go.

I don't know what intention I'd set for myself this week.

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