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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Always before going to bed. I never really use it during the day unless I'm driving and I find my breathing rate has increased for some reason @NightFury

I reckon the more you do it, the more effective it becomes.

DId I tell you about salsa dancing and how therapeutic I've found it? It was a real mindfulness challenge because you MUST stay to the 3,3,3 beat. So after a 1 hour session, I used to always come out so grounded....

Although, I havent' done it in a long time. I'm just so time poor. But it was definitely really really grounding... (oh, and I can't dance if you paid me!)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah, I think just before bed is a good time for me too @tyme

I think you're right, but I need a bit of encpuragement to stick to things. Once I've missed a few nights and feel like I've let myself down, I kind of give up.

I didn't know you did Salsa dancing. It sounds like it helped you a lot and you got a lot out of it. I'm terrible at dancing...I fall over my own two feet, so adding steps and stuff...yeah.

I took a Zumba class once and I was the person who went left when we were supposed to be going left and vice versa. Lol.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You don't even have to be good at dancing... I dance with 2 left feet... but seriously, salsa dancing was so so grounding... the constant repetition of 1,2,3 - 1,2,3 - 1,2,3 was so helpful.

It's definitely a different feeling to zumba.

Oh, since you've been in schools, have you heard of the DRUMBEAT program in schools? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I kinda like the idea of line dancing. @tyme I used to want to learn when I was a child. I even went to a couple of classes with my aunt.

I've heard of Drumbeat and have seen it at a couple of schools. It looked like lots of fun.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah. I'm going to have a look at DRUMBEAT a bit more. Supposedly it's used in youth justice too.

Anyway, I'm hopping off now. All the best with the rest of your assignment @NightFury

I'm not around tomorrow, but hope you can do something nice for yourself once you hand in your assignment!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good night @tyme thank you for the company over the last couple of days..

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury sometimes it can help to write things down before seeing a new gp/therapist/support. For me, reading stuff out feels a lot less emotional than actually recalling it in the moment (or you might be able to just hand over the notes and let them take it in). Repeating one's story over and over can certainly be very difficult, and however you can reduce that impact is so valid.

Wow!! Sounds like work has been a whirlwind of information and learnings - not surprised you don't have a lot of energy leftover! My brain would be fried too 😅 It's really amazing to hear that you're looking forward to the work ahead, that's definitely a promising sign! I know for myself, logging into the forums has never felt like a slog, or something that I dread - I hope it continues to be that way for you too!

Hope your assignment is all done now, how long till the next impending deadline?

Hugs 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Writing things down helped me in the first appointment with my old GP, when I went in to get a Mental Health Care Plan. @Jynx so thank you for the reminder. I'm hoping he will fill out a form for me on the impact of my mental health on my studies and then, I can get an access plan through the Uni. This automatically gives me an extra week on assignments.

That particular assignment is done, the next is due on two weeks. I had a bit of a meltdown at how long the word count for this one is. All of the courses are structured the same - a small assignment at the start, a bigger wordier (2500 word) assignment in the middle and a scripted powerpoint presentation at the end. But just to change it up... for this course they've changed the powerpoint to a 2000 word research paper.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How are things settling @NightFury ?

Got the assignment all in? (Then again, you're probably starting on the next one!)

Thinking of you.

What did you get up to today?

I've got a confession... I didn't get to complete Smiling Mind... I need to start TONIGHT!!!

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