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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

Thank you for the update. I've been a little worried about you and was wondering how you are managing with study as well as full time work.

I hear it is a lot and by 3pm, you're drained.

Do you think it'll get easier after induction?

I'm here if you need company.

Go easy on yourself hun.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've been a bit worried about me too, to be honest @tyme

I don't think I'm managing very well, but I hope it settles and I fall into a routine.

How has your week been?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

My week's been pretty stressful. I'm working through it. That's why when you talked about stress and anxiety, it reminded me about going back to Smiling mind. @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've been wanting/considering/thinking about getting back into meditation, so maybe it was a reminder for both of us @tyme.

Have you heard of binaural beats? I've been wondering about them too.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Have you started the mindfulness tasks? @NightFury

I haven't.... I hope to start today. We have to be accountabilty partners again!!!

I haven't done much work with binaural beats. I've heard of it, but because I'm quite sensitive to sound, I've never looked further.

I'd be interesting in find out more if you have any info though, or if you tried it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme I've been working on an assignment today. It's due today but I have a three day extension, which I won't need. I'll hand it in tomorrow (we have a public holiday here tomorrow).

Right at this moment, I need a break and I need to charge my laptop.

I did a quick smiling mind stress related mindfulness task last night. I was feeling really anxious and needed to find a way to calm myself down before trying to sleep. It was only 3 minutes long, but I did it!

I'm up for being an accountability partner!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Woohoo! Firstly, well done on keeping up with your assignment. It's always good to have that extension up your sleeve, even if you don't use it! I reckon I've had extensions for most of my assignments lol. I think there was only one that was handed in on time @NightFury

I found that even when I tried to start the assignment early, I sat there looking at a blank screen. But at the 11th hours, all the ideas come flooding in!

You beat me! I haven't got to Smiling Mind yet. I'll set an alarm to start tonight. I think I need it because I've been in some really stressful situations recently. My mind says I'm okay, but I find my body is definitely not okay... so I reckon the mindfulness practice will be really helpful.

Do you use the categories available on the app to find a program that suits you in the moment? e.g. Work Stress, Relaxing Sleep etc?

Maybe go for a walk? What's the weather like in Tas?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm just getting the hang of giving myself permission to ask for an extension @tyme to acknowledge that I need one and then to reach out actually ask for one.

It's a 2500 word assignment, I got 1800 words in and was like..."I'll finish it tomorrow."

tyme, I'm sorry that life has been stressful, but I think it's pretty amazing of you to put things into place to support yourself through it.

I haven't used the categories before. I haven't really spent time playing with the ap. Have you used the categories?

I'm not really feeling like heading out for a walk. It's been raining today, which is nice because we need the rain. It's so very dry here.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

When I'm feeling a certain way, I look at the different categories e.g. if it's that I want to sleep better, I go to the sleep routines. If I want to manage work stress better, then I go to those...

Of course you can use them interchangeably.

@NightFury

I have some favourite ones like fighting cravings and the starry night one.

I also like that smiling mind tells you the science behind it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I need to learn how to use Smiling Minds better @tyme do some exploring. It sounds pretty versatile.

At what time of the day do you schedule it for?

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