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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Also @NightFury I am chuffed that you said you feel comfortable chatting with me.

I'm all over the place tonight because social chat is on and it's fast moving tonight.

Actually you can see one of my highly sophisticated drawing - I call them sketches in ink on there. tyme has spotlighted it for tonight's social chat

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I just needed a minute to do some breathing. I'm okay. And it's nothing you did...it's just me!

I've been watching but I've realised that I actually have a hard time tracking fast moving chats with multiple people in it. I pop in and out. I saw your dog picture - it made me grin. Love it.

It does sound like maybe you experienced some burn out. You went through a lot.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That is completely fine @NightFury it can be really hard to keep up, especially when like me, you can't touch type!

I'm also trying to keep my fire alight and watch The Piano on ABC - it's brilliant by the way.

So I'm completely wired now but it's because I am doing all this stuff!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I'm on my phone with a sleeping rug rat in my arms, but I'd still have trouble on my laptop without the rug rat.

I'm the opposite...I'm crashing. Mentally fizzed out.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah you should take all the rest you can get @NightFury

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I shall reply to this one first!

I can see you have received beautiful support from @Till23 whilst I was busy last night (so sorry for my delay again).

Can you tell me how you're feeling today?

I am so glad that you chose to take photos of your time with your niece. I would love to hear more about these glimmer moments if you have the space to share.

You absolutely don't have to send the letter, and you may find that simply writing things out helps you with a sense of closure. I have done this before, and it really did help to end a cycle for myself internally. But you will know what's right for you when you start writing.

Not at all... hmm, I might say 'You are allowed to make mistakes' 'You are not expected to be perfect' 'Your efforts are seen, and they are enough' 'I appreciate all that you are right now, without you needing to change' 'We will be here no matter what.' 🥰

Maybe you could put a hand on your heart and another on your stomach, and repeat these affirmations to yourself? Remember that whatever you feel when you do this is allowed.

Thank you for this. 💛✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I don't want to talk about how I'm feeling this afternoon.

Your words - we will be here, no matter what...hit me in the feels. Thank you. I've had people say them before and it hasn't happened, so thank you because I can tell it's genuine.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury That's okay, you don't have to. Is there anything else you would like to talk about? We can chat about literally whatever is on your mind! ☺️

I am glad, I hope you can save those affirmations and put them somewhere easily accessible as a reminder. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I reached out over email to my student success advisor and told her...not in detail but just that I was having some mental health challenges, was in the process of getting support and needed some suggestions and advice as to how to proceed with my studies. Given that...the content is having an impact on me and that I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything at the moment...

She recommended that I apply for this special compensation thing that gives me more time to do it and more time on assignments. But I need a diagnosis and evidence

I don't have it...so all she can recommend is that I focus my time and effort on my assignments and come back to the rest later.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I loved reading about all of your achievements despite feeling afraid. That, my friend, is the definition of courage and something we should absolutely celebrate.

I am super proud of you for getting a HD whilst taking the pressure off!! Doesn't that show how much you have to offer exactly as you are? And yes, this may waver, shift or change, depending on what else is going on for you (because you are human and this is normal!), but I can definitely see a baseline of being more than enough to achieve the things you wish to. 🥰

I know today is feeling a little vulnerable for you, so when you're ready, it would be nice to hear about how your counselling session went. Know that ups and downs are a huge facet of recovery. We can't rebuild and rewire in a day or a week, it takes time. So, it's okay if you don't feel the way you did yesterday morning this afternoon. Perhaps you can gently meet yourself where you're at and ask, 'what do I really need right now?' - and then try to meet that need where you can. 💛

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