Acceptance is hard work

I am disappointed @AlwaysMyself I don't have words, really. I think, I expected the GP to let me know she was leaving, maybe give me some advice or a hand over to another GP. Especially given that she knew how anxious I felt talking to her about my mental health. I don't even know what to do at the moment.

I think you have every right to feel disappointed @NightFury ; very natural and reasonable.

Is there any other GP you know of that you have heard is good with MH that you could change to? (whether or not it is in the same practice)

I see a new MH GP this week for the first time -- because my current GP is terrible with MH. Funny thing, I didnt know of a good GP for MH, so I asked someone in my support group if they knew a good one and they did. 2 month wait for this appointment. Then 2 weeks ago I had a meeting with a Peer Support organisation, and they mentioned another possible GP thats good with MH -- so now I have a back-up person. I went from no one to now having 2 recommendations lol. I wish I had known of either of these 2 GP's years ago! I guess I didn't have local peer support networks before to ask through. My current therapist was also a recommendation from a local peer-support worker service person.

Good evening, lovely @NightFury,

That's pretty much what Vaudeville is! It sounds and looks like it was an incredible experience. 🤩

It's completely up to you, there is no pressure. 💛

Oh, I am so sorry this is coming up for you. I understand that these changes are somewhat jarring, so how you're feeling is perfectly understandable. Have you thought about leaving any feedback? We want to ensure you are feeling heard right now and we absolutely welcome your thoughts. 🫶

Also you are not being selfish at all! We value our connection with you, and all of our other friends on the forums as well, it's a two-way street. 🥰

I know it must feel like a lot with your GP resigning, your work connection shifting, and having to wait for a psychologist... I wonder if we can brainstorm some other ideas for connection/support right now?

Also, I am glad to see our wonderful @AlwaysMyself is reaching out to you - you're both such wonderful people and it's lovely to see you supporting each other.

The writing thread was a great idea and you don't always have to contribute, you can create the prompts and utilise the space for connection as well!

Talk more soon, big hugs. 💖

@AlwaysMyself I've booked in to see someone else at the same practice in a couple of weeks time, but I actually have no idea of who is a good GP to see regarding mental health matters, so that's a great question.

Hi @AuntGlow I was just heading to bed when your reply came through. I did read it, but I'm getting to the reply now.

I don't know, my reaction to the changes on the forum might just be as a result of where I'm at in my life and in my head space. It might just be a me thing. Is there a feedback form?

There's a lot of change going on in my life at the moment. And my course coordinator explained to me that change is tough on our nervous systems. I hadn't thought about it like that. All I know is that I have big feelings, lots of tears and loud thoughts at the moment.

I would like to brainstorm some ideas for connection/support, particularly around support - I need a plan. I've been reaching out. I rang the warmline. They rang back while I was at work, so I couldn't take their call but they rang again at like 7 pm to just check in. That felt like...someone went out of their way to support me.

@NightFury I'm really glad the warmline felt good and supportive when they called back - and that they tried a second time when you couldnt take the first call. 🥰😍

(This is also really encouraging for me, because i havent tried the call-back (Roses?) one because they are callback and i always think about what if they call at an inconvenient time.)

Change is a really normal thing for people to react to with a stress response. I'm really glad the coordinator was able to explain that and talk through how things are for you currently --- i think that shows they also care a lot. 😍

@NightFury I can promise you now, that even if we aren't around as much, we would definitely notice your absence. And even if I'm not around as much, it doesn't mean I care about you or any of our members any less. I'm glad you decided to say something hun, I'd always prefer you speak up than to suffer in silence!

It's funny how our brains associate things like 'paper plates' purely with 'BBQ' hey! I think a lot of the 'rules' of our social lives are implicitly learned - we don't always realise how strongly wired they can be! And like, the vast majority of them can be broken with little-to-no consequences. You won't be taken to court over some paper plates! There's a lot of things I think that we're hesitant to do because it's considered 'weird'. Like skipping for instance - when was the last time you skipped? Like the gait, not with a rope haha. It's actually ridiculously fun and sometimes I will skip for my exercise instead of jogging because it makes me feel so jovial and carefree, teehee!

Also stuff like... running the laundry twice cos you forgot to hang em out, or singing/dancing in public spaces, or even just handing out compliments freely!

From the hygiene practices you're describing I would seriously doubt that you're odorous enough for others to notice. Even booze and ciggies, which have a very pungent presence, are only noticeable within like a metre or so. I think I used to wash my dreads like... once a month - and no one ever called me stinky! And my friends would definitely tell me lol.

Also (this might be TMI too ahaha) sometimes, letting a little bit of our natural odours become perceptible can be a good thing. I've had a couple partners tell me they enjoyed my stank... so you never know haha.

How was your RDO? Get caught up on study?

Also read about losing your GP, that sucks. I think it took me years to find a GP with whom I felt totally safe and at ease, most of them ignite my anxiety real bad. Change is always challenging, and when it all compounds at once, it's so normal to want to run and hide, or to yearn for how things were before. And like, by all means - let yourself be cranky, let yourself feel the sadness, give yourself space to be upset or confused or even feel betrayed - you're allowed to feel these things and express those feelings! Especially with how much has been changing in your life lately.

Hugs for you my dearest 💜

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Things are tough at the moment @Jynx my emotions are all over the place. This morning I woke up and was actually looking forward to going to work. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Tonight, I have tears. So, I don't know if the way I'm feeling about the changes on the forum, is just because of that. It could be just me and emotional dysregulation and not coping with everything changing around me.

Oh gosh...I have no idea when I last skipped. I skipped a uni class tonight, but I don't think that counts. I don't even know if I could physically skip any more. Knowing me, I'd probably fall over my own feet. You're right though - like who came up with these rules? What does it matter if we used paper plates for dinner, or ate cake for breakfast? I do run the laundry twice all the time. Haha.

My RDO was okay. I spent the day studying. I did get caught up for now. I'm trying to get some forms filled out that will allow me some supports and more time with my studies, but I need a GP or a clinical psychologist to fill them out, but I don't have either of those at the moment. I don't know why it has to be so hard.

Hugs, my friend.

@NightFury

I would notice if you were missing! You were part of the Christmas hangout crew!

Thank you for saying so @avant-garde I really do appreciate it.