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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I really dislike toxic positivity @tyme I've had friends who used toxic positivity a lot.

Good point too with the walk. It's supposed to be hot late in the day, so I might have to have a plan B for self-care.

I'm just about to do my worry time and head to bed to try and get some sleep. Thank you for tonight. Goodnight, tyme.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

All the best! I know you can do it! I won't be easy or comfortable, but that's okay - it's your first day.

I look foward to hearing how it all goes when I'm on next @NightFury

Good night.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme @AuntGlow I had my first day at my new job today. I had a couple of meetings, got my Tech and IT sorted, and read through induction stuff and policies and procedures.

I connected with a couple of people I work with - my supervisor and another learner (who started in December) over books and reading.

I have a bit of overwhelm going on - there's lots of things to learn and lots of information to take in. I also don't know how I'm going to balance work and studies. I also need to figure out self-care - during work hours and after work.

@Chasingsunsets @Jynx @AlwaysMyself @MissGremlin

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury you truly have done so well to get through your first day sweet. It sounds like a busy day and it can be overwhelming having to take in so much information but just remember they don't expect you to learn everything in one day.

I'm glad you've connected with a couple of people today, I'm sure those connections will continue to grow over time.

It will take time to find routine and balance so try not to think about it all at once (i know that's easier said than done). For tonight I'd try to focus on the fact that you've gotten through the day and maybe do something gentle to care for yourself. Maybe a nice drink and some yummy food, snuggle with Luna while watching something or doing another activity that's soothing.

Sending you hugs sweetheart, i really am so proud of you. You've come such a long way and you are continuing to grow and make progress in your recovery journey ❤️.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like an overall good first day, even if a little overwhelming too @NightFury . Connecting already with 2 coworkers - so nice!

I support and echo everything @MissGremlin said too -- about not needing (or being expected) to learn everything at once, and maybe some gentle self-care tonight to wind down.

It's really normal for people to take 3-6 months to onboard into a new role, learning the organisation & policies & processes, etc etc.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's exactly what I intend to do @MissGremlin. I intend to focus on the fact that I've just completed my first day of a new job, and not push too much with what's left of the day.

I can slowly work at building a new routine and finding my way with work. It's a nice reminder that it's okay to take time with it. @AlwaysMyself

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey there @NightFury, I am so glad you were able to connect with a couple of your colleagues 😊.

I hope you have a good day today 🙏

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hello @Chasingsunsets , @NightFury , @AlwaysMyself , @MissGremlin , @tyme , @CalmOwl

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's really pretty @Shaz51 - and huge! Do you know what type of plant it is called?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What's that flower called @Shaz51 ? It's beautiful!

@NightFury , I haven't read back on your progress over the last days. I'll do that soon!

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