FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

3,011 - 3,020 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

My weekend's been kind of busy. I played lawn bowls on Saturday in 34 degree heat and ended up with a massive headache. I didn't get any sleep on Saturday night, for whatever reason. And on Sunday I had a maintenance appointment for my dreadlocs. It took four hours, and involved three hours of driving, so that was my day.

I am having issues with sleep again. Which is frustrating.

I already feel like I did the wrong thing in letting them know that the conversation was hard for me to be a part of. I don't know if explaining why would make that feeling worse?

Having to wait 12 weeks does feel like a long time, but at the same time, it feels a little bit like a light at the end of a tunnel. I may not have the support that I need right now, but it's coming...hopefully.

I tagged Jynx because they were a part of a conversation about how overwhelming it felt, having to contact clinics and try and organise support for myself. I wanted Jynx to know that I had managed to do it. It felt like a big thing for me.

Narrowing the options down does feel disheartening. It's hard for me not to turn it into something personal. As in - to make myself the reason why.

I start my new job tomorrow, AuntGlow. I am very nervous.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey there @NightFury, I just wanted to come by and say that I am thinking of you and hope tomorrow goes well.

I completely understand how nervous you must feel, I hope today you can take it easy and do the things you enjoy doing the most.

Remember you were picked for the job for a reason, you got this my friend 🫶. I look forward to hearing how you find it. 🙏

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've had a bit of a meltdown this morning @Chasingsunsets

...just lots of tears and lots of emotion.

I've done some study, which was a distraction. Now I'm about to have a quiet, unproductive afternoon before starting work tomorrow.

@AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It’s alright @NightFury, change and the unknown can be incredibly difficult and worrying I really get this.

What happens if you love this job? How good would that be?

What’s one thing you may be looking forward to or interested you when you applied for the role? 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Chasingsunsets I'm looking forward to what's hopefully, a more supportive work environment where I can feel valued, seen and heard.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury What a great thing to look forward to. I hope you can meet some lovely people tomorrow and you enjoy your first day. Happy for any updates you would want to give as well 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme how was your Monday?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I had a really pleasant Monday. When to the shops to get some school things for the kids, then took them to starbucks. Came home and jumped in the pool and had lots of fun with them... and now I'm here 🙂

You? I think I read that you studied a little? Please don't be hard on yourself if you are taking a break. It means you need it!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Being in the pool sounds like a great way to escape the warmth of the day @tyme it sounds like it was fun.

I had a meltdown this morning, and then did get some study done, yes. I'm trying to get ahead of an assignment that I have due in a couple of weeks and stay on top of the week's course content.

I need to chat, if you have time and opportunity? I know you guys are busy.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes, I'm around @NightFury . If others are around too, we can tag them in.

So your assignment is due in a few weeks? Good on your for getting started so early! I was always a last minute person...

Is there a lot of reading you have to do? When you say it, it makes me want to go back to study something.

3,011 - 3,020 of 3,920