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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury oh I see, my mistake!
I am sorry to say hun but Guided Recovery is no longer running - it is being re-launched as the new Recovery Club 2.0. You will be able to book in 1:1 sessions in the new RC and be able to attend the new groups and such when they launch, not sure when that will be.

I totally understand that you are looking for some auxiliary support, maybe you can reach out to Medicare Mental Health (formerly Head to Health) and see if they can support you or connect you in with another service that might suit what you're needing.

I look forward to seeing what you come up with!! I think if you keep in mind that it's a fun and maybe even silly thing, it might help if you ever feel pressured or nervous about sharing some of your writing 😉

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @Jynx

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I understand this feeling, very much so. @NightFury

Have you noticed anything has helped you to feel a little bit more safety in your body as of late?

What has made you feel like you have said or done things wrong? Maybe talking it out will help? 🫶

Having such a big thing like work change would feel very vulnerable, I am sure. Change and uncertainty can definitely make things feel busier in the brain and bigger in the body.

It sounds like you absolutely deserve support right now and we will be here for you as much as we can be, okay? 🥰

Have you explored calling the peer support warmline yet?

Regarding guided recovery, I hear that new participants will be able to access support from March - but you should be able to access the appointment portal now? When was your last appointment with us?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Colouring in has been a good distraction from feeling unsafe in my body @AuntGlow

I spoke up in a thread. It triggered me, it brought up so much fear about losing people here. I had just gotten news that my Grandad's ashes had come home to us (he donated his body to science, he was sent to Victoria) and I've been feeling like my supports were closing down around me. Hearing people/my forum friends talk about "leaving" it was just...all too much, and so I spoke up about it. I tried to let them know that the conversation they were having was hard for me to be a part of while still being supportive, but I think I put my foot in it. I shouldn't have said anything.

I did a hard thing today in terms of trying to get myself some support. I rang one of the psychologist clinics central intake and referral suggested. They asked me to forward my Mental Health Plan and referral through to them to start the process of matching with one of their psychologists, and informed me that it will take a minimum of 12 weeks. It's a private psychology clinic, I get a rebate because of the referral and mental health care plan, but it's still going to cost me. I'll figure that out later. @Jynx

You probably can't answer this question...but why, why does it feel like my diagnosis makes support harder?

I've called the Warm Line once, but haven't really used it since. I should, I probably need to.

I had an appointment today with SANE to go through the new Recovery Plan. We didn't get very far into it, but it's a start. It's a big document, but it is more detailed. I like it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh good on you @NightFury doing the hard thing!! Sometimes just picking up the phone to initiate the process can be the most difficult thing ever - it can feel so vulnerable hey!! I'm glad to hear your appt went well today too, sounds like you're really putting some solid energy towards getting the right mix of supports. Big kudos to you hun 😁


@NightFury wrote:

You probably can't answer this question...but why, why does it feel like my diagnosis makes support harder?


Hmm... I reckon there's a couple of factors, but primarily I'd say that the more complex our presenting issues are, the fewer trained/specialist professionals there will be who can support us in it. So as an example, having anxiety means you can probably get support from pretty much any mental health clinician/worker/organisation. Having ADHD and anxiety means you might need to seek out someone who knows about ADHD and/or has studied the differences, or perhaps has lived experience. Having ADHD and anxiety plus childhood trauma/attachment wounds would narrow the field of available supports even further.

Complicating this is always gonna be whether we have the finances to spare for specialist support, and the fact that we also need to find someone with whom we click, where we feel that balance of safely held and gently challenged, and other factors like scheduling/availability/wait lists, and our location/access to transport or fast internet or what have you.

To be honest it's no wonder that it can sometimes take ages to find the right support. This is a reflection on the system, and not on you or your support needs/diagnoses. It sucks, I know, especially when we're in acute distress, facing a lot of compounding challenges, and have that super fun factor of rejection sensitivity. It can be hard not to look inward for some reason as to why we can't find the right supports, but I hope you're able to remind yourself of all of these factors if ever you find yourself sitting with those kinds of thoughts 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx I found myself in that frame of mind today....

I'm just...super aware that I don't have a lot of support right now and it feels important that I wrap some around me.

Finding it challenging to get that support...my brain turned that into something personal.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hugs @NightFury

Here for you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @tyme ❤️ that set off the tears.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Some hugs for you before I pop off dear @NightFury - totally get those feelings, but you aren't at fault here hun. You deserve ALL the support!! 😊💜

(づᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How has your weekend been? @NightFury

I completely hear you and I can understand why this would have felt vulnerable for you. The idea of losing friends or supports, especially after such big loss with your beautiful grandfather, must have felt really scary. I wonder if you could let this person know how you're feeling? 🥰

Such amazing initiative here!! I know the 12-week wait is a while, but I get the sense a matching-session will be really helpful. Let them know what's helped you in the past and the kind of support/energy you are needing - hopefully this will connect you with someone likeminded and educated around OCD. 🫶

I don't know if this was a question for Jynx or I! But I get the sense it may feel a little harder because you're also more experienced now? You know more about what you do and don't want. And now you're looking for very specific support based on your diagnosis, rather than general care. This often narrows our options down... which can feel very disheartening. However, I have so much faith that this will help you find the right person for you.

If you do call, please let me know how it goes. No pressure, of course. ☺️

ooh, yay!! This is very exciting. All of the coaches are so wonderful - I think you'll have such a great experience.

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