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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Obviously I don't know for sure what it's like for you @NightFury but I can definitely empathise with the anxiety switch being on full bore. Have you noticed any we!ght loss?

When I was really anxious, I was burning through heaps of energy and lost a lot of we!ght. I also found it difficult to eat, but I forced myself to eat something at least twice a day. But I was constantly moving and trying to do hard physical exercise to try to relieve the anxiety and to try to make me physically tired, to try and get to sleep.

Maybe another topic for the counsellor is finding ways to take a break. I don't know when the next school holidays is for Tas, but maybe that's a chance to have some proper down time. Also, there is possibility of putting study on hold.

It's great when you achieve something you thought you would not be able to do or were sort of procrastinating over for whatever reason. You usually find that it wasn't as bad as you'd thought it would be.

I can do box breathing but many other breathing techniques are triggering for me.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 it just...sucks.

I haven't noticed any weight loss but I have noticed different eating patterns. I had one meal yesterday, and today not really that interested in eating. I had breakfast and had some dinner with the rug rat just then, but I could have easily given it a miss.

The energy, I have definitely noticed though. A few hours in each day and I'm feeling exhausted. But also tired, but wired is a big thing. Did you experience that as well?

Mapping out a plan for taking a break would be a good idea. It sounds like a positive thing. And it's something I'm terrible at. When I worked in the public sector as a teacher, I did nine years of teaching and only took 3 sick days. This is definitely something to work on. We're in the middle of a term now, so holidays are a little way away.

Ooooh...putting the study on hold is still something I'm wrestling with. It's an option and I haven't ruled it out. I'm just waiting to hear back from my students advisor to see what they think.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury I haven't finished reading this but you have named a person on here, do you want to change it to N or something, up to you of course

@tyme @AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I've edited it.

I'm sorry @AuntGlow @tyme I didn't mean to...I don't want to be in trouble.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury you won't be "in trouble" it's to preserve your anonymity and also a minor's anonymity. It's just to be careful because this is a public forum and anyone can access it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

OK now to properly address your post @NightFury

Yes the tiredness has been a big thing for me at times. Even if it's difficult, it is good to eat to help with the tiredness, protein is the best thing.

I became really tired after my anxiety started to settle down, but probably it was a bit of burnout from my last 3 years of 3 deaths, cancers, inflammatory/immune disease, starting new job and then retiring, 24/7 caring for Dad by myself etc

When I had full on anxiety I did not really feel tired, maybe I did but I just didn't pay attention to it, I don't know.

When I left one of my jobs I had had 3 sick days in 11years and had to ask a junior how to fill in a leave request when I took a holiday after about 8 years. At times I have worked 6 and a half days a week.

Good plan to get advice from the student advisors.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

You will not 'be in trouble'. Somtimes, we may give members a gentle nudge about the guidelines, and 9 out of 10 times, it's an accidental slip.

I've done it in the past before too.

Please don't feel anxious about it. We are here to guide each other, and hence @Till23 mentioned it.

We are glad to see you growth and strength. You are putting yourself out there so that you can focus on your recovery, and that's powerful.

We are here for you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme it was just an accident. I was feeling comfortable with @Till23, feeling comfortable here and I just forgot. I'm sorry.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Of course! No need to be sorry!

It's totally okay. I'm glad you feel comfy on the forums. If there is anything else we can do to make you feel more comfortable on the forums, please let us know. I know how uncomfortable things have been for you in reaching out and seeking support @NightFury

We are here for you @NightFury

@Till23

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Don't stress @NightFury if I told you the amount of mistakes and slips I make every day !

It was caught and changed quickly - it's highly likely only I saw it

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