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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I understand. hmmm, what about one word to describe how you're feeling? @NightFury

oooh, how are you feeling about your new role?

Isn't that such a nice feeling? I wonder how you could access some of that free, playful, inner-child energy this week?

A picture prompt is a wonderful idea!! Could you look at is a 'process' based task? So the whole point is to explore, rather than perfect? ✨

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm so here for this group hug @AuntGlow!! 😍

(っ˶ ˘ ᵕ˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶ς)

@NightFury @AlwaysMyself I love druids too!! But my main familiarity is through D&D haha.

Just thinking about this tutorial I remember reading (I think it was by this guy who called himself the 'Grumpy GM') about creating stories and stuff for D&D and he spoke about the fact that imagination is not necessarily innate, it's something we need to practice at like any skill. Like you @NightFury I used to write and create all kinds of whacky tales as a kid, but it doesn't quite come to me with as much ease these days. I've actually been thinking lately that I miss writing! So we're in a similar boat. Blank pages can be soooo daunting 🫣 I think it is one of those things you just gotta start, start anywhere, just get words down. Doesn't matter if it's the worst, most boring-est and plot-hole-filled story under the sun, cos no one has to read it unless you want them to.

I dunno if anyone here uses Reddit, but there's a subreddit called r/writingprompts - could be a good way to get something started!

Could also be cool to kick off a thread about it on the forums? For example I used to love playing this game where we'd sit in a circle and go around saying just one word at a time to create a (usually quite ludicrous) story, which seems like it could be doable on here! Or maybe one sentence at a time or something. I feel like yonks ago there was a thread on here where people would just tell fantastical tales, pretending they were someone in a fairytale kinda world. I wish I remember what it was called!

We can always experiment if folks are interested 😋

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

One word to describe how I'm feeling would be...disconnected. @AuntGlow

Thinking about my new role makes me nervous. So, I'm not trying to think too much about it. I don't know what to expect and in a way, I'm still trying to process that I won't be a teacher in a classroom this year. I keep having dreams about every day teaching experiences, with students I've taught in the past as people in my dreams.

I will give writing a go tomorrow. I've been doing a lot of study today, and note taking. I'd like to have a go when my brain's not in study mode. I think I can approach it from a place of exploring rather than stressing over whether it's perfect and whether I like it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I was reading your post and just thinking @NightFury . Maybe it's perfectly okay and natural to feel disconnected? In a way, I feel it's a way to protect you from the unknown. I'd probably feel disconnected too.

What are you doing as part of self-care?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sounds like some good ideas there for a thread @Jynx I was thinking that maybe...it could be like...a creative writing thread, with a writing prompt a week...or something?Maybe we could pick a few of those to share in the newsletters? I don't know if anyone would be interested.

I do miss writing though, so I can relate. And it did used to come easily. I also used to like writing alongside my students. I would put a prompt up sit at a desk and write to the prompt with them. Kind of a modelling writing thing. I hope it's as you said, something that comes with practice.

It's hard when I find things that once came easily to me, challenging. The same comes up around study at times.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I didn't think of it like that @tyme I know...that it just feels strange.

Self care today...I went and had an iced coffee at a local cafe for lunch. It was vusy and loud, so it didn't last long, but maybe it was the idea that counted. I also got some new markers/textas delivered today, so I've been testing them out doing some colouring. I'm cooking a healthy dinner because I need it and I took Luna for a short walk this morning. There have been little bits of self-care in my day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That sounds like a nice pleasant and quiet day. I was babysittign 6 kids so it was pretty full on for me today lol. But the kids had fun.

Oh, and yes. Disconnecting from reality is a protective factor. It allows us to manage with other things in the moment until the time comes where you have to re-connect with the perceived 'fear'. @NightFury

Go easy on yourself hun

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey there @AuntGlow, how’s your week been? 😊, thanks for your reply and hey there @NightFury hope you don’t mind the conversation being here, definitely can moved it somewhere else if you’d prefer 🫶

Oh that’s cool to hear you are thinking about revising your course content, definitely would be interested in anything you would want to share of course 😊.

Unfortunately I have not had sufficient time yet to continue researching but very very keen.
What had lead me to all of this was a bit of a funny hip and a lean to one side which I had noticed getting worse over the last few months. Worked out my whole hip and muscles on one side were all just not working well, not sure why I have not noticed this until recently, kind of feel like I was asleep at the wheel, so it’s been interesting, got to see my chiro I’ve seen for years whilst on a break, he managed to fit me in which was nice, he’s given me a couple of things to work on which are really simple (I like simple anything with too many steps I loose interest 😂) to correct the lean, it seems to be helping, but definitely noticing how weak my muscles are on one side re hip/leg which is super strange for me to all of a sudden just know how bad one side is. Not sure if gym had just made one side stronger and this is why I am noticing it I don’t know. I guess if it doesn’t change with the stretching etc then likely neurological but don’t want to visit that yet. But yeah pretty interesting, re muscles, just in the process of working out which muscles are the ones not working well and will try strengthen them.

After this back to the hip opening and possible heart opening but would like to do some more reading etc first 😊

I hear you saying it has to be slow and gentle, I am pretty sensitive to any changes that happen in my body so would want to do it slow anyway. I also hear you when you say people with past trauma can find it pretty vulnerable so will take it slow, safety or lack of is one of my areas I struggle with. Also have the new stuff I have started with my psych, so a bit going on and I am one of those people that want to do one thing at a time otherwise you can loose sight of what’s helped or not helped. Got lost in what felt like a bowl of m&ms most of last year from no fault of my own just chasing one thing after the other and too many new things in the ring to didn’t really know what was causing what, I seem to be at the top of the bowl at the moment, feel I have a bit of an oversight on a few things which is nice but it’s a fine balance of that and flipping into disassociation, however all ok for now, just observing.

I went back and found the thread again but still getting bounced out by those forbidden 403 warnings, it was called “the best is yet to come” this is what I hope for ☀️, don’t mind making a 2.0 thread, would prefer its not on the latest post feed, feels a bit safer. Is this doable, I wonder. Still getting use to everything here however feel like I’ve been able to share a bit more here as time has gone by. However I am conscious of the fact I am on someone else’s thread at times and do worry/feel bad that I am eek! So keen to have a landing spot at some stage 😊

Lovely chatting ☀️, ps I must say I was a bit obsessed with frozen yogurt when I was on my break 😂. The one I went to had a nutella fountain, was so good 😂😂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I did three hours of study this morning @tyme and have an online class to attend tonight, so it wasn't just chillax day. But in comparison to baby sitting six kids...it was much less full on, yes.

I think there are a few things going on at the moment that maybe has caused that disconnect...so maybe a bit of overwhelm too.

tyme, I've seen it shared on here, I think...is there a directory of support or psychologists where you can search your local area?

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