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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's feeling like too much right now @MissGremlin so pausing and coming back to it later sounds like a good idea. Hopefully disengaging with it, will help slow or stop the spiral.

The day is quickly disappearing and I don't even know where it's gone. All I've done so far today is take Luna for a walk.

I think I need to find some food and a coffee...

Soooo...is the thing you were looking forward to today, still happening?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury that sounds like a good plan sweet and I'm hoping it will help to slow or stop the spiral.

I get what you mean, today seems to be going fast. I've not done much myself but I did have something to eat and chatted to a friend for a while which was nice. How was the walk with Luna?

Some food and a coffee sounds perfect ☺️.

It is still happening, it will be after my doctors appointment which isn't until 2.10pm.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hope the walk with Luna was nice @NightFury . I'm sure Luna will have thought it was brilliant.

Thank you for also reminding me it is lunch time and i shpuld eat something. I had forgotten, but i know if i dont eat anything my energy will be low later and i will get worse.

I hope you find something tasty to have for lunch and a nice coffee. Hot or cold/iced coffee? 😊

@MissGremlin loved your advice, what i would have said also. I relate to the overwhelm too when i was doing the same thing a year ago.

Might try to do a bit more paint by number after eating. Or maybe even start one of my 3d plasters is i need something less-detailed.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AlwaysMyself @MissGremlin it's just a reminder really isn't it? To take things slowly. My brain goes straight into get it done mode and then has a freak out when things don't line up the way I need it to. You're right...it's not a decision that needs to be made right now and it's one that I can take my time with.

My walk with Luna was okay. We did the big block, which is about 1.5 km's. Not a huge walk but enough to get the body moving and for Luna to smell all the different smells.

I've just popped a pastie in the oven, and made a hot coffee using my Nespresso machine. I'm going to snack on a couple of apricots and I might pop the TV on.

I have bowls training, out first one back for 2026, later this afternoon, so I'll head out to that.

Dreamy, good luck with your appointment, and I'm excited to hear all about the good thing that's happening for you today...if you want to share later, that is...no pressure.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury i think we all need that reminder sometimes, our brains often focus on trying to solve everything at once.

I'm glad the walk was ok, i bet Luna loved all the smells along the way ☺️.

Oohhh a pastie sounds yummy and I'm glad you have a nice hot coffee, the nespresso machine sounds like a great purchase for you. You reminded me that I have some plums and nectarines to munch on, I might have them later today.

I hope lawn bowls training goes well for you sweet.

Thankyou, if it all works out I'll definitely share with you ☺️

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury how you travelling today?

I've been slowly catching up on all my notifications, sounds like you've had a very introspective time over the festive season! Sounds like there's been a lot on your mind hun - feel free to chat to me about anything that's lingering or sticking in your mind, always happy to share my thoughts and bounce some ideas around 😉

Hope you're somewhere cool and chill today, if it's as meltingly hot where you are!!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello thar @Jynx how was your break?

There's always a lot on my mind and it's been quite hard to carry it on my own. I'm in the process of navigating more/different support at the moment, but that's proven really hard and overwhelming and keeps triggering the..."nope, not doing it! It's too hard" shut down mode.

It is hot here. We're in a severe heat warning, with a bushfire warning to go with it.

My new job doesn't start until the 1st of Feb, so I am still on holidays. I've been hit with the exhaustion stick today. I'm really foggy brained and having moments of disconnect from my body. It's my second day upping my meds, so I'm trying to be gentle with that. I've just had a nap, but had to get up because it's 4.30 pm and if I'd stayed napping, then I won't sleep tonight.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon @NightFury 🫶

Aw, this warms my heart so much. I am really glad I can be here for you.

My break was lovely and showed me that I could definitely use some more time in nature/exploring movement and connection this year.

What did the break highlight for you? 💖

I understand that feeling of being mad at yourself for not meeting your expectations or for letting go... it can be such a challenge to sit with the discomfort of relinquishing control: it can be scary. I know that with anxiety-brain, it can also be hard to find stillness and rest, so I am actually very glad you had a restful nap - you deserve more moments like this.

Yes, please tell me more about your half brother! It sounds like it's quite a vulnerable connection for you?

It would have been awful being labelled as attention-seeking with a condition that can truly feel so unbearable... I understand this and know that I see you.

Hmm, I wonder what the shame might be around depression too. Could you explore writing one sentence about what comes up for you first when you consider this shame?

Oh your coffee with your old friend sounds so lovely! Was it a helpful conversation to have?

I know that side effects can be very overwhelming, gah! I am hopeful they will shift for you in time. How are they feeling now?

Wow, you have had a BIG break already! I am proud of you for exploring both work and rest. How did the parts exercise sit with you?

And as @AlwaysMyself said, I am definitely proud of you for navigating your discomfort and meeting your sensory needs at the basketball game. Life as a sensitive person can be so tough... and something I am learning is that we are absolutely allowed to do what we can to make life a more regulated experience. 🥰 Also, @Chasingsunsets you mentioned you'd like me to elaborate on a link - which one was it? I have missed so much!! haha

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow I've missed you guys so much. It makes me feel held when the PSW's are around.

I'm still on break. But things have slowly started to return. Lawn bowls starts up again this week and my first unit for the Masters starts next week.

I've had a couple of naps these holidays. It's always a challenge to get up and going again afterwards though. I haven't been sleeping well, so it's nice to have opportunity to nap during the day.

I keep...gaslighting myself when it comes to being disgnosed with depression. Thoughts like..."I can get out of bed and go to work, other's can't." Or "I can shower and take care of myself..." or "I'm not as impacted by it as others." I think that maybe comes with the whole shame thing...maybe the shame lives in the fact that it means I'm less functional. I'm not really sure. It makes me feel more broken.

My coffee catch up with a friend - she's going through a lot at the moment. It's complex..but she has a son to my second cousin and it's been a DV situation. I think she needed someone to listen, someone to validate. I think she feels like she's been made to reduce her experience by some members of our family and their friends to protect him.

On Monday my GP upped my meds again, so I'm just trying to be gentle with my brain and with myself over the next few days. I've noticed a few moments of disconnection from my body...like yesterday, my hands didn't feel like my hands, which was kind of worrying.

The parts exercise...it was interesting to have a conversation between the two parts and to see both perspectives. It was difficult to shift to a more grounded part because it felt foreign in a way.

I didn't ignore your question about my brother, but it's a big one and I feel like it would make this reply so long. It maybe needs it's own space.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Was good! Spent a lot of time w my partner which was super lovely. The lack of routine definitely got me though haha had a very restless brain by the end of it!

Oh that is such a mood, I totally feel you. I think it speaks a lot to the intensity of the burn out - my brain will do the same when I'm already overloaded, like I hit that mental wall so much quicker and it makes it hard to persevere through even the teensiest of road bumps. It has required me to really slow down, break tasks into even smaller chunks than I usually would, and to not try to push myself when I'm already frustrated or agitated cos that can lead into meltdown territory real quick.

Yeah the heat is gnarly!! Bushfire warnings can be scary, are you worried about where you are? Do you have like a bushfire safety plan?

I definitely get more foggy-brained when it's hot, so maybe that's a factor too, on top of the med changes?

What are you doing with your evening?

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